Polar
by Freaking Cage
Summary: Kanda, an elite member of a supernatural organization is set on a mission to bring back a new species of supernatural being. Little did he know how valuable this being would be. Yullen, vampires, long hair. Rated for everything worth reading.
1. Chapter 1

Lol, wut is with that Käse-y summary?

Disclaimer: If I owned -Man, it would be full of random bursts of imagination, and then it would--

* * *

There was very little Kanda remembered about his past. It was all a blur--he'd never stored much information as a child, not thinking he'd ever need it for future reference.

He remembered his mother.

She wasn't beautiful, and she wasn't Japanese. They lived in a remote place in Japan, though Kanda never thought hard about the fact of his mother living somewhere she technically didn't belong. He was often told by the neighbors, "He looks just like his father!"

His mother would say nothing.

He had never met his father, or if he did he had no recollection of him. All he needed was to look in the mirror, and that was an impression enough of who his father was. His mother never mentioned his father. If she loathed the sight of him, Kanda knew not of it. She would stroke his hair and smile, staring into his eyes with all of the love she had.

Not many visitors were seen at his home. One woman would come sporadically. His mother seemed neither happy nor angry during the visits, but somehow placated, and so Kanda didn't mind the woman that came to their home, however stupid and loud she was.

Kanda's mother was the only person he loved, though not in the traditional sense. He never told her 'I love you', and she never said the same to him. It was more a mutual understanding. She would smile when she saw him and he would always thank her for the meal. Since then, Kanda has never been able to describe the feeling as anything other than by just looking at someone and knowing it was love.

She didn't smile much, and on rarer occasion laughed, so he was used to silence.

She loved tempura and would experiment with it in many ways. His favorite try was tempura soba.

She never wasted breath with pointless conversation, and so Kanda learned only to speak honestly and sincerely.

She died in Kanda's arms, and Kanda learned dying was easy and painful.

Kanda didn't think of his mother--he wasn't brought up to be sentimental for no purpose--but he would always remember her. He would remember her when there was silence but never think of her. He would remember her when he ate tempura soba, but would never think of her. He would remember her through everything he did, but would never think of her.

He would remember her because she was his beginning, he would never think of her because she was irrelevant. The last day of her life was the last day of his, and on the first day of his death she wasn't present.

His life was hers, his existence was his own.

And so, though she was perfectly irrelevant to him now, he would always remember the influence his mother had over him.

Probably because he was the one who had killed her.

---_Freakingcage7 quite possibly presents,_

**Polar**, a Yullen fanfiction

Kanda licked his lips, tasting the salty and dry texture. He frowned and stood, berating the weather in a moment of annoyance and then turning to his project. The young girl lay nearly bare before him, curled on the ground in fear, shivering despite the warm air around her. Tears rolled from her red eyes to the sand and her irises looked up at him, begging.

Please.

Kanda made no sound as he took his sword and removed her head from her body. The only noise to be heard was the ocean breeze, his sword hardly daring to breathe as it was brought back into its sheath. Kanda took the head and threw it into the ocean, not caring that it would most likely only be brought to shore again. The open eyes stared at him as it flew, cursing him with glassy eyes that matched the sea before him.

Too late, he said with a shrug.

He took a bottle from his sack, and grabbed the neck of the woman's body. He took a few moments to drain the blood, looking at his surroundings as he did so. No one was around, so he wasn't in the slightest concerned or alert. The sand rushed into the air at the next strong breeze, and Kanda frowned, seeing some specks fly into the jar of blood.

That wouldn't taste good.

Kanda mentally rolled his eyes, and then dropped the body when his task was completed. He brought out a few more jars and repeated the motion of draining her blood. When all of his jars were full, he thought about throwing the body into the ocean as well, but decided against it. He didn't particularly feel like dragging something so heavy for no real purpose. No one would find out what he'd done, the body would most likely be disposed of within the hour.

Out of respect, Kanda said a short prayer to the spirit of the girl, wishing her better luck in her next life, or better yet, no next life.

It was all such an annoyance.

He packed his jars and walked away from the beach, on his way to the small room he'd rented on the fifth floor of a three star hotel. He'd leave in two days, seeing some sights before his trip home. He absently admired the whiteness of the sandy beach. The moon shone brightly and seemed to shine brighter because of the dark sky in comparison. It seemed peculiar that two opposites needed each other to really make the most of their existences, but this is not what Kanda thought.

Kanda thought about the jars, and the sand that had spoiled a good meal.

----

Kanda peeked over the rims of his sunglasses and scoffed.

Whoever called this place paradise was an idiot.

The sun was too hot, the water too dirty, and the people...ugh. Kanda hated people who smiled, much less smiled for a living. All the inhabitants were dirt poor, yet every single lazy jackass managed to piss Kanda off all the more by not even caring. What kind of person went around without a shower for a week? No one Kanda wanted to make an acquaintance with, not even to be within shouting distance.

He dropped his bag at his feet and stretched his arms above his head, getting ready for the 5 hour flight back to Atlanta. He didn't know why he had to take a commercial flight, with these grunting farting _common_ folk, but it was so, and Kanda knew a lost argument when one presented itself. Japan Tobacco Company, or JTC, was running low on funds ever since the huge strike against their business. Therefore, Kanda wasn't getting his own plane any time soon.

Kanda was the perfect business associate. He was the perfect guy to close a deal, usually because he intimidated the hell out of anyone who thought about backing out. He may not be Mr. Personality, but you don't have to be to get someone to sign a piece of paper.

All Kanda needed was a glare and a grunt.

And as of right now, Kanda was dishing plenty of those out. All around him were pink tourists who insisted khaki shorts were a must in 80+ degree weather and Hawaiian shirts, though they were at least 4,000 miles away from said location. Kanda threw his shoulders back and planted his hands in his pockets, right foot on the handle of his carry-on bag just to make sure no one got any ideas about rushing up and stealing it. He needn't have bothered however, since everyone was keeping a nice 5 foot radius around him. Whether it was from his intimidating good looks or intense glare, Kanda didn't care.

As long as the job got done, Kanda never cared.

"All First Class passengers for Flight 456 to Atlanta Georgia, please line up." The woman with too thick eye makeup and the wrong color concealer continued to repeat this in her too flat voice for another three times. Too many, in Kanda's opinion. He lined up and made sure to shove the 40-year-old dad that had knocked his elbow with his camera away from him. The man settled with a harsh stare followed by an awkward shuffle, away from Kanda.

Kanda shoved an mp3 player in his ears and let the music lead him through. He looked at the smiling faces and the directed hands, and scoffed--it all made no difference with sound or without. Sometimes Kanda wished he could go deaf, just to see if it would really be so horrible. He didn't care about sentimental shit like birds chirping or the waves of the ocean. If it meant he could get rid of the annoying grading of high pitched overly-polite voices out of his mind, Kanda thought be would gladly give up his morning wake up call in return.

He boarded the plane and immediately closed his eyes as he sat down. He ignored anyone who bumped into him, and the stewardesses left him well enough alone. Kanda zoned out for five hours, and came off the plane in Atlanta feeling exactly the same as when he'd left Jamaica.

Hot and bothered, in a completely non-sexual way.

He grabbed his bag tighter and walked brisk long steps to the exit. He would have been grateful for his disciplined self and the fact he could bring only one satchel for one week and be as clean as if he'd brought two full suitcases, but Kanda wasn't one to be grateful for something that was natural. It was all on his own, and he expected it of himself--no need to give himself any kudos for something that required no effort.

He hailed the first taxi he saw by stepping out in the road to stop it. The wheels screeched a bit, and the driver didn't look all too happy, but Kanda climbed in the back seat quickly and everything set into place.

"Where to my friend?" asked the driver.

Kanda held back a nasty remark in response to the driver's over-familiarity and replied a curt, "Noah's Ark."

The driver gave a low whistle and a smile, looking over Kanda once more.

"Sure thing boss." With that, he swerved into the left lane and headed off to the most prestigious hotel in the southern region of North America.

-----

Tyki Mick smiled as he graced his finger around the wine glass, happy for the invention of Mimosas so he was able to have alcohol so early in the morning with a valid excuse.

"Tyki, let's go to the pool today." his sister said, leaning on her hands and swinging her feet below the table. Tyki could tell this because his drink was rocking back and forth like a pendulum.

"Hmm? You feel like swimming today?" he asked, still smiling and eyes cracked open slightly.

She wrinkled her nose and shook her spiky hair. "No. I just want to go." Tyki sighed a laugh and leaned back into his seat, ignoring the rest of his drink.

"Alright. But I'm dressing myself this time." he chided. Rhode stuck her tongue at him and let her eyes wander across the room, a frown growing over her face as she looked at the sweaty tourists, though it was only eight in the morning. If they didn't wear that god-awful polyester they wouldn't be so dirty already, she lectured them in her mind. Absent-mindedly she smoothed out her short skirt and placed her head on the table, sighing dismally.

Even with Tyki, Atlanta was boring as hell.

Tyki was polishing his pocket watch and Rhode was wondering who she would 'accidentally' cause to tip their tray--that girl in the back with that awful olive colored skirt would do nicely--when Rhode's countenance rose.

Tyki didn't notice immediately, wondering if it would be too much to order another Mimosa to go. Her head rose and her feet tapped on the ground, heels hitting the floor like a mouse trap. Tyki looked at her with expectant eyes, but she didn't look to him to confirm her new sighting.

She didn't need confirmation for this one.

"That Tyki. Let's do _that_ today." she grinned, and Tyki followed her gaze.

Yes, he agreed. That would do nicely.

-----

Allen Walker loved the sun.

There it was, high in the sky, so happy and bright and...sunny. He mentally shook his head, tossing away the fact he couldn't seem to think of a better term for the sun than its own uncreative adjective and headed to the counter of the reception desk.

"Hello sir!" Allen smiled happily to the man.

The man smiled back amiably, not missing a beat. "Good Morning sir! Are you here to check in?"

"Yes I am. I'm also looking for someone--A Mr. Marian Cross?"

The man nodded and typed quickly into the sleek Mak computer before him. "Ah yes, it seems he just left yesterday evening. But there is a note from him saying--"

Allen's smile dropped. "You don't need to finish that sentence." he replied glumly.

The man laughed nervously, double checked the number and cried for the man inside his heart of hearts. However, it wasn't his business, much less his problem, so he continued to go about his own job.

"Yes sir. Your room is on the twelfth floor, number 5. Would you like a spare key?" he asked helpfully.

"Um...yes, I think that would be best." Allen gave a small chuckle and ran his gloved hand through his long white hair. "Can I pay for the room only now?"

"Room or rooms?"

"...How many rooms?"

"Seven, sir."

Allen sighed. "Just mine for now please." The man behind the counter, or Bill, as his name tag so helpfully told Allen, nodded and told him the bill. Allen dropped his bag and took out his wallet. He paid in cash, something that made Bill feel less sorry for Allen and not think so much of the bill his friend had left for him.

"Thank you sir, now here're your keys, the elevators are to your right and have a wonderful stay at Noah's Ark!"

"Thank you very much!" Allen gave a small nod and a wave and left Bill to wonder about the polite strange stranger that was on the twelfth floor in room number five.

Allen gave a happy sigh and made his way to the elevator. He made small talk to the bellhop and kindly refused the offered help of his small bag. Allen was going to need to save all the money he had for Cross's bill.

He brought out his key and turned the knob, off-handedly admiring the hallway for its space and decor. Just as he was entering his own door, he caught a glimpse of another man heading his way from the second elevator. The man whisked past him and took out his own key to enter the third room, right next to Allen's.

"Hello." he said politely, smiling at the tall stranger.

"Hmph." came the terse reply, and another moment later, the man was inside his room with a slam of his door. Allen's eyebrow twitched, but ignored the incident. Maybe the man didn't like the British. Allen quickly forgot about it all with one look at his room. The walls were twice his size--though, in others' opinions wasn't saying much, to Allen's displeasure-- and everything seemed to have an indescribable elegance to them. Light sea-foam colors and spacious architectural planning made the place welcome to Allen, almost as if it fit him like a glove with the small details of the bed placement, down to the small chiselings on the vanity.

For the umpteenth time, Allen gave a happy sigh, and was so happy to be in Atlanta.

-----

For the umpteenth time, Kanda gave an annoyed sigh, and cursed anyone dealing with the matter for his forced stay in Atlanta.

Kanda was happy to be busy, and didn't mind these little missions he was ordered to go on every once in awhile, but when they involved stuffy smelly places right under the boiling sun, he did mind.

While Kanda was pleased--not happy, never really happy--that he would be performing his task under the nose of that sniveling power-mongering Noah Family, he did not like the prospects of having someone come along with him, much less bringing someone home with him.

Just a few weeks ago, another discovery was made in the world of the supernatural. Someone very rare indeed, a type of sprite--an unknown and unheard of species really in these times, most having been killed long ago for their good hearts and human-fearing abilities--that was out in the world without a clue of the Dark Order Organization.

The Dark Order Organization sounded like a wonderful idea. It was a group for the sake of the supernatural, to keep them safe from the world and the world safe from them. It was a wonderful idea, until one visited the Organization. The opposites of species could never seem to get along: the vampires were forever at ends with their noisy werewolf counterparts, the witches hated the fairies and the fairies shared this malevolence, and so many other demons just hated each other along with everyone else.

Very few humans worked within the Organization, and usually had some sort of connection to the supernatural, be it a mother, sister, lover or cousin. They had small jobs, though not insignificant. Oftentimes they were assigned with tabloid control, getting in on newspapers and steering them in the wrong direction of the supernatural realities and races. Others had communication jobs in the Alt Kulturen Division (also referred to as the 'Ack' division)--translating old supernatural languages and transcribing them to top secret documents, and there were a few other special small divisions relating to this. Some had relocation and location positions from the Direct Demon Resources Division (also fondly called DDR)--requiring the humans to match up the supernaturals to jobs, if indeed the supernatural being wasn't able to acquire one for themselves.

Lastly was the Science and Technology Division (or STD), focused on genetic ability and disease control. Their aim was to make sure the ability of every supernatural being was known and controlled and that they didn't get any diseases from their occasional intimate interaction with humans--i.e., the vampires didn't wind up with AIDS. It was headed by the infamous Komui Lee, who was known for his rather unorthodox methods, horrible surgical techniques, lack of overtime pay, tendency to procrastination, but mostly, his sister complex.

His beautiful younger sister, Linali Lee was well known and loved around the Dark Order. She was often the one to remember a coworker's birthday or anniversary, and always the one with the endless supply of wonderful and much-needed coffee. She herself was a witch, and though Komui was human, no one really questioned why he was there as the head honcho when there could have easily been a supernatural being in the position who would cause remarkably much less trouble for them. Komui was there for Linali, and that was all they needed to know.

One of Komui's leading jobs was to make sure every supernatural being was accounted for, and so, on these rare occasions when one was born, or rarer when one was discovered after their birth, there would be a mission assigned the the elite of the Dark Order, called the Innocence Conformers or more colloquially Exorcists, of which Kanda was a leading member.

One more supernatural being had been discovered and was to be recovered within three days, and then brought back to Germany, Headquarters location.

Kanda was chosen for the job, and so here was Kanda now, displeased and grunting in the World Acclaimed Noah's Ark Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia.

Kanda went over the description of the supernatural again, and smirked. Seems like this job would be easier than he'd anticipated.

----

A/N: Hmm, I felt like writing something angsty and cliché, with some nice Yullen and Lavali in it. This probably won't go anywhere, but I'll consider it more if you like it and drop a review.

And yes, Allen is going to have long hair, because I saw him with long hair in the zombie chapters and fell in love. Maybe he'll end up cutting it, maybe not. I guess I just have a thing for guys with long hair....

I wonder what Lavi would look like with long hair...?

Also, I type Linali like so because I find it easier to type. So if that bugs you, get over it, Lenalee, Linali, Rinali, Rinari, etc, I prefer Linali. If any of this is confusing, don't hesitate to ask; hopefully if I write further chapters, the whole organization will be explained better.


	2. Chapter 2

Allen nodded cheerfully to himself after he finished putting away his clothing, and stood. He had been organizing his things for a good half hour now, and he was absolutely starving. Seems like the sun only made him hungrier, as he thought of all the cajun food he was about to indulge in.

Allen started mentally thinking of the dishes while physically counting with his fingers. There was Red Beans and Rice, Gumbo, Jambalaya....and just about anything fried! Allen smacked his lips and pocketed his key, making sure to completely shut the door once he was out. He began to whistle a tune and made his way down, opting for the stairs as opposed to the elevator--Allen liked to challenge himself.

The restaurant was nearly empty, but still open. He was eternally grateful to American restaurants, that they never closed during the day(1). He remembered he'd have to wait some few hours before restaurants in Europe would open again to the public. Allen looked at the menu and immediately two things happened: his mouth began to water, and his wallet braced itself for another intense workout. He'd already figured out his order (3 Po' boys, 2 plates of jambalaya, and a large order of the chicken, pork and shrimp gumbo to start with) when he felt something grab hold of his elbow.

"Hello there." said an amiable voice. Allen turned around, and then looked up. This stranger was quite tall.

"H-hello." Allen said, startled but always remembering his manners.

The stranger smiled and Allen noticed he had a very unusual shade of brown eyes, quite dazzling really.

"Hi. I'm Tyki, pleased to make your acquaintance." he held out his hand, and Allen took hold of it, shaking it for good greeting.

"I'm Allen Walker, how do you do?" Allen inquired, if a little confused.

"I'm fine thank you, and yourself?"

"A bit hungry." Allen admitted, scratching his head, and right on cue a loud growl belched quite rudely.

Tyki laughed. "I assure you the reason for my interruption is quite relevant. I was wondering if you would please join my sister and me for breakfast." Allen looked past Tyki's shoulder and spotted a young girl, maybe a few years Allen's junior sipping at a pink smoothie and swinging her legs under the able. Her eyes were downcast, but when she noticed Allen's attention, she immediately perked up and waved. Allen waved back a bit and turned again to Tyki, who was looking down on him with a benevolence any saint was practiced in.

"Well..." Allen paused, wondering how all of his plates would fit on such a small table with two others with him, when Tyki spoke again.

"We will pay for the bill, no need to worry."

"Oh no!" Allen waved his hands defensively and nervously, upset to have caused such an impression. "I was just thinking--"

"Please, don't be shy." Tyki led Allen to the table and looked over his shoulder to the lady behind the counter. "One of everything please."

"Eh?" Allen mouthed, mostly to himself. Did they eat as much as he did?

"Now Allen," Tyki held out a chair and Allen awkwardly placed himself in it, facing across from the young girl with the smile that reminded him of...something. "Tell us about yourself. Why are you in Atlanta?" Tyki sat down gracefully, left leg crossing over his right, his hand immediately going to caress the mimosa in front of him. "My sister and I are dying of good company, will you be here long?"

"Um, well," Allen folded his hands in his lap and looked down at the table, before bringing up his gaze to flicker between the two nervously. Both had such queer golden eyes it was hard for Allen to look directly at them; it was like staring at the sun. He smiled amicably, forcing himself to act decent. "I came to visit my father."

"Ah, and where does he live?"

"He...resides in New Orleans actually, but I was supposed to meet with my father's friend here, although he--" Tyki and the girl stared at him, eyes wide with what Allen assumed to be interest, and Allen shook his head. "I'm sorry, we haven't been properly introduced." he held out his hand over the table to he little girl. "I'm Allen Walker. Who would you be, if I might ask?"

The girl giggled and took his hand, but rather than shaking it, she brought it to her lips and kissed it. Allen nearly whipped it back in shock, but stopped himself in time. Americans sure were friendly, he thought.

"I'm Rhode." she winked. "And you were saying?"

"Um, yes, I was...saying." he paused to swallow, and quickly thought of an alternative conversation piece than his dead-beat teacher. "I'm very happy to be here! This weather is absolutely lovely, nothing like home!" he laughed and tried to relax a bit. But somehow, the relaxed state of both Tyki and Rhode nerved him very much. Their graceful languidness put him on edge.

"Where is home?" Tyki asked, bringing the glass to his lips, but not drinking.

"Oh, England I suppose." Allen smiled. "But I'm a traveler." he stopped, not knowing what else to say, and an awkward silence filled the void.

"Traveler hmm? How lovely." Tyki murmured, looking into his glass.

"Very lovely." Rhode echoed, but somehow, the glance she gave Allen told him she wasn't speaking of his traveling.

Allen cleared his throat, mouth growing stern. "Where do you hail from?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"Us? Oh, we're from around here." Tyki smiled, setting down his mimosa. Allen waited for more, but he was given nothing. He took in a deep breath and tried again.

"What are you doing in Atlanta?" he asked.

"Oh nothing now. However, we were going to a delightful little show tonight, a jazz festival downtown. Would you be willing to come with us?" Tyki asked, leaning his chiseled chin lightly in his palm.

In all honestly, Allen didn't want to. He wanted to eat his meal, ALONE, without these stares that were aimed at him point blank. Rhode immediately licked her lips after this train of thought, and Allen felt more anxious than ever. He didn't like to admit he was getting freaked out by a chick younger than him, but he was. Just at that moment, Allen swore he felt something nudge his leg. Rhode smiled up at him and Allen's eyes went wide when she winked. _Really_ freaked out.

Allen had already thought of a protest. He didn't bother thinking of one it that was rebuked, but he didn't so much care. When push came to shove, Allen could take care of himself.

"Actually--" he started.

"Ah, look! Here comes the food!" Tyki announced. Allen watched the line of waiters drop off the dishes one by one, and slowly he felt himself sitting back down. The wafts of delicious southern cuisine made its way seductively to Allen's keenest sense, pushing away any discouraging thoughts. The steam from every meal rose from the colors of dark red, white and brown and Allen found himself suddenly exhausted, and wanting nothing more than to plop down right here and get to work on his meal.

Allen looked hesitantly from Tyki to Rhode, whether trying to get their approval or accept his reticence, even he wasn't sure. Tyki handed him a fork, and then folded his hands in front of his nose.

"Now Allen," he smiled, teeth whiter than Allen's rice. "How old are you?"

-----

Kanda grumbled to himself as he picked the lock of the fifth room on the twelfth floor. He cursed that a certain idiot _someone_ had stolen all his good lock-picking tools, someone with a death wish and the obnoxious ability to know exactly how to piss Kanda off.

He'd get his someday, Kanda assured himself.

"Hey there partner!" said an overly happy steward. "Need any help getting to your room there?" Kanda would have taken the help, if it didn't bother him so much that he would've been helped by a Keebler elf. A short man with plump cheeks and red hair to match his red face looked up at Kanda with twinkling eyes as though it held a very silly secret.

Kanda hated secrets, and Kanda hated elves, and anything that 'twinkled'. Therefore Kanda hated this man and did not want his help.

"Get lost." he snapped and jerked his head down the hall, motioning for the man to seriously _get lost_.

"Well now buddy, it's alright, I won't tell anyone 'bout your troubles." the man leaned in and winked at Kanda, and that was that. Kanda _hated_ being winked at.

"Take a hike _buddy_ before something large and painful falls on your oversized head." Kanda responded harshly. The man opened his eyes wide, as if only now realizing that rude people didexist in the world. "Scram!" Kanda emphasized by waving his hand at the little man in dismissal, and slowly the Keebler elf tinkerbilly walked off, somewhat dazed, and soon to be very disgruntled.

Kanda breathed out a sigh of relief when the door finally admitted him and slammed it shut the second he was inside. He looked around, glad to see it was organized. Of course, the person who resided here had only been here a few hours, but Kanda knew a certain _someone_ that could easily ruin a room after five minutes of entering.

Kanda walked around, looking for nothing in particular, but taking notice of the belongings as though he were in a museum. He rummaged through a few bags, checking just to see if any traces of identity were left around. After seeing nothing, Kanda nodded to himself in approval, and began to shove the clothing from the closet into the largest bag, which was still a small carry on. He packed in everything that would be needed for an overnight flight, and dropped the bag on the ground once his task was finished.

He sat on the bed and waited.

And waited.

And more waiting.

Kanda growled in impatience and kicked off his boots, leaning back against the bedpost. The kid had gone down to breakfast over an hour ago. What the hell could take the runt so long?

It occurred to Kanda that he could go out and make sure the rascal was still in the building--after all, his wallet was gone and what else did you need in Atlanta? But he really didn't care enough, and didn't want to go outside and have to deal with the possibility of the kid going into his room, finding the door unlocked and calling security. Besides, the camera was still on the nightstand, and the toothbrush hadn't been used yet. Assuming the kid wanted to use the camera and brush his teeth after eating breakfast, he would be back after his meal.

And so Kanda waited.

Two hours later, a rattle was heard at the door. Kanda opened his eyes from their semi-slumber and looked at the door, eyebrows mushing together in one irritated frown. 'Bout time, he thought angrily.

A white messy head came through the door, facing the floor. The young man tiredly closed the door, not even noticing it had been unlocked. He stopped, back turned to Kanda, leaned his arm against the door and sighed into the crook of his elbow. Kanda watched almost curiously as the boy hung against the door, his ponytail as limp as he was. The white head shook itself out and the boy began rolling up his sleeves, probably to cool off from the 85 degree plus humidity outside in the open hotel.

Kanda didn't fail to notice the scorched black and red arm he carried on his left.

A small sigh was heard and, as the young man was walking to the bathroom to finally brush his teeth, he looked up and noticed something on his bed.

Something that definitely hadn't been there before.

Allen stopped, hardly knowing what to think anymore.

"Um, hello?" he asked, rather than greeted.

"Tch." Kanda retorted. This was the reaction he got for breaking into the kid's room? What an idiot.

"I, um, I think you have the wrong room." Allen pointed next door, trying to he helpful. "I think you had--"

"Shut up." Kanda said, his patience running out after ten o'clock in the morning.

"Beg pardon?" Allen replied.

"You heard me." Kanda shoved his boots on and stood to full height, towering over Allen. "Brush your teeth. We're getting out of here."

"Excuse me?" Allen all but squawked indignantly.

Kanda glared down at his mission, watching the grey eyes become larger and seeing the pale pink scar across his left eye. Kanda would have to record this later.

"We're. Leaving." he repeated. Kanda had never been the best to encourage, and perhaps Komui would regret it later that he hadn't sent someone along with him for this particular mission.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Allen folded his arms across chest, and closed his eyes. They opened again immediately, as though something had been only just remembered. He clutched his left arm fearfully and pulled on the sleeve harshly, looking up at Kanda almost shamefully as he hid it. Kanda rolled his eyes and grabbed his shoulder.

"Just brush your goddamn teeth." he shoved him towards the bathroom, but Allen caught hold of Kanda's strong grip, and though he wasn't able to remove it, he did halt his movements.

"Wait! Who are you?" he looked up into apathetic eyes and almost thought his question was in vain.

"I've come to take your sorry self to Dark Order HQ." Kanda responded, evading the question just so.

"Dark Order...?" Allen said the words quietly, as if saying them would call forth the memories. Maybe it did. "Dark Order! The Supernatural Organization?" he looked up. Kanda raised his eyebrows, and Allen took this as confirmation. "What do they want with me?"

Kanda took in a deep breath. He wasn't sure why these questioned irritated him so much, but they did, and that was all he needed to know to act like this. "How should I know? But they want you, so you're coming with me, got it?"

"What makes you so sure?" Allen retorted, rocking his shoulder back to remove it from Kanda's death-grip.

"Listen to me beansprout--"

"Beansprout?" Allen mouthed befuddled.

"You're coming with me conscious or not, like it or not, so brush your fucking teeth before I--"

A knock resounded at the door and Kanda muttered another curse. He sat down on the floor behind the door and brought down Allen's face to meet his own.

"Answer the door like everything's normal." he ordered and released the young man. Allen wanted to protest, but really didn't want to cause any trouble for anyone entering such a scene. He straightened his collar and cleared his throat, opening the door and revealing--

"Tyki?" Allen asked, eyes wide with surprise. In all honesty, Allen's eyelids were beginning to hurt from the gaping they'd been doing only since that morning.

"Allen," Tyki said smoothly. "It just occurred to me--"

"How did you know my room?" Allen asked, but the question was ignored.

"That I could quite possibly help you find your father's friend, the one you're looking for? Marian Cross was it?"

"Y-yes..." Allen trailed off, cursing himself for leaking that bit out. It hadn't been intentional. Somewhere between seconds and thirds his family had been brought up again, and with Allen's easily triggered anger to the man and his tendency to rant to anyone who would listen, it had just slipped out.

"If it interests you, I can have him pinned down in no time." The way Tyki said 'pinned' made Allen think there was another meaning to the word.

"Um, that sounds great, but I actually have someone over right now--" Allen began, about to introduce the intimidating Kanda to Tyki, when a leg swiped out from behind the door and connected with Allen's inner knee. Allen quickly grabbed hold of the door to prevent himself from falling awkwardly into Tyki's arms and changed his story, "I mean _about_ to have someone over right now, and it really would be rude to just call and cancel--"

"But surely they would understand if it's about your teacher Cross. After all, what kind of friend would they be if they didn't understand that you needed to get in touch with a family friend to visit your own father?"

Allen stopped, not sure how to proceed.

"Um, yes...that is true." he replied nervously. He didn't want to go back into his room with the very tall, very angry man, but he certainly didn't want to have to spend so much time with Tyki either. Tyki was making it very hard for Allen to back out gracefully, and Kanda was making it very hard to back into the room.

It seems his choice was made for him.

"Wonderful then." Tyki grabbed hold of Allen's arm brought him through the door. He led Allen to the elevator and closed the door, the lock sliding in with a click that sounded to Allen much like a bullet being locked into place. Tyki smiled and held out his right arm as the elevator door opened. "Shall we?"

Alen nodded and straightened his sleeve properly. As the doors began to slide closed, Allen stared back at his door, and wondered just what would happen when he returned.

-----

Kanda thumped his head against the back of the wall and growled. His chest rumbled and his mouth complied with his mood, scowling something fierce while his eyes gave glares that would kill with an ounce more power.

"Damn Beansprout." he punched the ground, but felt no better.

And now it was his responsibility to ensure that he got the boy back. Back in time to leave on their 3:45 flight to Berlin, Germany. Kanda brought up his leg and rested his forearm on his knee, clenching and unclenching his fist slowly.

Back from the goddamn Noahs.

* * *

A/N: Kanda's worried about getting him back? I'm the damned writer! I'm the one that has to figure it out! Geh...so, looks like we'll all be surprised to see how Kanda gets Allen out of the raping arms of Tyki.

Lol, Tyki you rapist. XD

So I'm kind of reversing Tyki's appearances. So right now Allen's gonna be like, "Ew, I feel verbally molested." he will meet Tyki's later ego later and be like, "Homedog!" If that makes sense?

And don't worry, Kanda's vampire self will come into play shortly, and I'll give you my version of vampires (garlic? really?) Oh and really sorry peps, but uh, I kind changed the first chapter (not that you have to reread it, I changed one word that affects the story). I changed the fact that Linali was a vampire, and now she's a witch. It makes the plot run more smoothly for me. I was going to have her be like, "I can't kill people and drink bloooood!" and Kanda was gonna be like, "I'll do it for you bitch." and then she was going to have like, an inferiority complex and be like, "Must get stronger!" but I changed my mind. I can see her as a witch better, and she'll be a little more...hmm...well, let's see how I change things there. A little more righteous I think. I don't know. Whatever.

...I really should have more of an idea of what to do....O.o;;;

Footnotes:

1. It's true--in some European countries restaurants aren't open in the mid-morning or mid-afternoon. It's not worth it for business.


	3. Chapter 3

"Wow, it really is something to see a hotel with 40 floors!" Allen commented, stretching out his collar and fanning his face discreetly. The elevator's air conditioning wasn't as cool as Allen would have hoped wearing gloves, a long sleeved shirt, and black trousers. Tyki seemed not to have noticed, or if he did he didn't mention Allen's attire.

"Yes." Tyki said and smiled. Allen smiled back, mentally cringing. He sincerely hoped this wouldn't be a repeat of breakfast.

He vaguely wondered what Tyki and Rhode saw in him. Were they really so bored for company? They made no real effort to let Allen know about themselves, and it seemed to Allen they would have been perfectly content to merely stare at him all day. That thought made Allen somewhat uncomfortable.

"All the way to the top?" Allen asked, hating the silence.

"Yes." Tyki responded, giving Allen a sideways glance and small smile. Allen wondered if perhaps Tyki _wanted _Allen on edge. Allen let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding as the elevator doors chimed open and he jumped out, only to want to jump back in.

In all honestly, Allen never liked large spaces. Oh he was fine with wilderness and open prairies, but large rooms and homes just didn't suit his tastes. Having worked many jobs, he found larger spaces much harder to clean and so never developed a liking for them.

The room he had just entered took up the entire floor.

It was a strange sight to see, even if it weren't partly related to Allen's dislike of large spaces. Everything was in sight, and by everything Allen meant _everything_.

Far across the way, all the way to the other side of the floor were two beds, both attired with plain white cotton, made perfectly with the expertise of a German housemaid. There was a large living space before Allen, equipped with a flat screen television, a big poofy couch he would not have pictured in Tyki's home setting, and a large stereo system that took up at least a quarter of the back wall, which was saying something. Allen turned around again, and noticed something in the corner--a bathroom. A very clean, very _open_ bathroom, complete with a toilet, boudet, urinal, sink and shower. There was a small wall surrounding the tile that covered the area, but not high enough to be actual walls. It was more to the effect to keep the water off the floor around it, and Allen was sincerely glad he did not have to go to the bathroom at that moment.

"Come with me please." Tyki brought Allen to a nearby door, knocking lightly. "Rhode? Allen is--" the door flew open and Allen was mildly surprised to see Rhode dressed very peculiarly. Almost a Little Bo Peep style, with a much shorter skirt and a more devious smile than Allen had ever imagined the young sheepherder carrying.

"Hello." she smiled cheerfully, and allowed them entry.

If Allen had thought the previous room was strange, this room beat that room with plenty to spare.

It was an office of sorts, Allen surmised by the large computer in the center of the room. A very large computer. The entire monitor took up all of Allen's height, and if he stretched out his arms, he thought that the screen would be wider. Various wires and screens lit up the back wall, and thousand of papers were stacked pristinely around the surrounding walls, making Allen's eyebrows furrow in confusion. At first he thought they were pillars, but at a closer observance he saw the small indentations and barely mismatched corners. He wondered how they kept track of all of them for a moment before turning his attention downwards.

"Over here Allen." Rhode called to him, smiling up and taking his hand. Allen followed her, somewhat forced, and sat down in front of the monitor.

"Name." a droning voice inquired and Allen jumped at the sound of it. The voice wasn't in one place, but all around him, so he could not tell the owner. He looked around nervously, and Rhode laughed.

"Allen Walker." Tyki stated and turned Allen's chair to the right, just a bit. A flash of light came from the corner of the room and gave Allen a full body scan. Allen froze, shivering slightly as the light seemed somehow _cold_.

"Allen Walker." the voice repeated.

"Um, I beg your pardon--" Allen began.

"Quiet." the voice dictated, and Allen immediately complied. Once the scan was completed, the machine before Allen hummed, making the young man even more nervous. Just when he wondered how much more he'd have to take, the voice stated clearly. "Allen Walker, please step forward." Allen looked to Tyki, then to Rhode, neither of them saying anything. Both merely smiled at him, and so, slowly, Allen stood and walked over to the monitor. A constellation of lines and symbols covered the screen and Allen's eyes nearly popped out of his skull.

"This--this isn't--!"

-----

Kanda ran a hand over his smooth ponytail, and thought the situation through again. It was obvious he couldn't just go barging to where Allen was and demand to have him. The Noahs would recognize him immediately, and that would only create an outright brawl, which Kanda did not have time for. The hand tangled itself in the long strands and Kanda clenched his teeth in frustration. Goddammit!

Kanda bit his wrist and began sucking on the wound. He wasn't particularly hungry, but the blood satisfied his mood somewhat, the hot aroma hitting a nerve that brought Kanda's mood down to rational.

He'd already wasted an hour trying to think of an escape plan, and he only had another hour or so to get to the airport which was 30 minutes away. That left a half hour for Kanda to get the brat out of the Noahs' claws and onto the next plane to Germany. A way to get him out without causing too much suspicion, without giving away Kanda as the perpetrator. Something that would get Allen away from the Noahs in the first place.

Something...something...

Kanda stopped drinking his blood and his eyes darted up, catching the radiator on the other side of the room, next to the bed. He licked the wound, stopping it up with his saliva and stood.

It was better than doing nothing, he supposed.

-----

"Something familiar Allen?" Tyki purred, sounding much closer than Allen remembered him. He turned his head to see Tyki's golden eyes inches before him and he backed up immediately.

"Who are you?" Allen demanded. "What are you to me?"

Tyki smiled. "Just friendly folk I assure you."

"I don't believe you." Tyki opened his eyes and Allen swore they were flashing something dangerous.

"Hmm. Well, I'm afraid I can't convince you further than this." he pointed to the screen again, and Allen felt his mouth dry out. "Don't you want to find Marian Cross?"

Allen had the very bad feeling he'd done something he shouldn't have by letting himself get scanned by this...thing.

"Well don't you Allen?" Rhode cooed alongside him. "So you can _visit_ your father?" her eyes were half-lidded and her face was getting closer to Allen's by the second. Allen tried to get away from the girl but her grip latched on and it was stronger than iron.

Allen wanted to get out. He couldn't take these strange people anymore. He needed to get out and felt as though his life depended on it. He tried to break for the door but Rhode wasn't having it.

"Allen..." she called, eyes laughing.

Something in Allen snapped. A zapping sound was heard behind the monitor, and Rhode's eyes widened at the sound. She turned, Tyki with her, and squinted. Lights flashed from the back wall and wires zipped haphazardly.

Water was seeping through the cords. Rhode looked from the wall to Allen, who was currently shaking as though he were in the center of an earthquake. His eyes were shut tight and every muscle seemed to be in use. She poked him experimentally and his eyes flew open. An avalanche of water rushed through the room and Rhode didn't even have time to take a breath before she was swallowing more than she could handle. She jumped up and choked out the water, looking for Tyki and Allen.

Tyki was apparently in the same boat with her, coughing and spluttering through the water. Allen was exactly where he stood, completely dry. Water flowed around him in a perfect circle and Rhode nearly cackled with glee.

She _had_ wanted to go to the pool after all.

Allen scowled fiercely at the siblings and began to walk out the door, water still maintaining a good distance from every part of his body, down to the last insignificant hair.

Rhode laughed, spitting out water as she did so. "Let's play again, 'kay Allen?" she called out. Allen glowered and shut the door behind him harshly.

Leave them, his bitter conscience told him. He ran for the door, hardly looking back on the queer surroundings, and hoping to never come back to this awful place again.

-----

It figures, just when Kanda had gone through the trouble to get the sucker OUT of trouble, he comes barreling out of the elevator and slamming into Kanda.

"Y-you!" Allen said, surprised.

"Don't call me by--!" Kanda stopped himself from repeating the rehearsed line and stood, rubbing his head and scowling. "Yeah, me. What the hell are you doing?" he asked rudely. Allen frowned.

"Getting away from those creeps!" he shouted, angry and loud.

"Tch. Creeps huh?" Kanda muttered, mostly to himself. "Whatever." He shoved the small carry-on bag into Allen's unsuspecting arms, which earned a nice 'oomph!' from the young man and a look of great indignation.

"What are you doing jerk? This is mine!"

"Which is why I gave it to you, dumb beansprout." Kanda retorted, heading for the stairs--quickly.

"B-Beansprout?!" Allen shouted. "We're going to have to talk about that! I am no _beansprout_! My name's Allen!"

"Like I care." Kanda scoffed, flying down the stairs almost faster than Allen could keep up with.

"Wait up!" Allen shouted, chasing after the dark-haired man as fast as his short legs could carry him.

"Hurry up!" he shouted back. He burst open the door to the lobby and ran for the exit. "Come on!" Allen bolted along with him, not knowing why, but having his own reasons for wanting to leave the hotel behind in his dust.

Kanda whipped out his arm and dove into the street, calling the first cab to come along. The driver flipped him off but Kanda didn't care about that. He opened the back door and shoved Allen in faster than Allen could keep up with, accidentally banging his head on the top.

"Ow!" he winced.

"Quit your whining!" Kanda ordered and jumped into the car with him.

"W-Whining?" Allen screeched and Kanda rolled his eyes, ignoring him.

"Atlanta Airport." the driver grumbled something about 'better get a huge-ass tip for this' but put the car into gear. "Faster or you can forget your huge-ass tip!" Kanda roared. The driver jumped and complied, taking into account the look that promised death on Kanda's face, and also noticing he was taller than him.

"What...What is all this for?" Allen cried, rubbing his head and willing the automatic tears that had erupted to go away.

"None of your goddamn business." he muttered and settled into his seat, satisfied that they were breaking the speed limit by 20 miles.

"None of my--? It has to do with me doesn't it?! Don't you think then that it--!" before Allen had the chance to finish his sentence, a flash went off behind him and Allen turned to see the fifth room on the twelfth floor blow up a nice large mushroom of ash and flame. The boom resounded shortly after, and Allen could hear the screams of the people on the street fading into the background as the driver pushed the car faster. Kanda made not a sound, not even moving from his position of hands behind his head and eyes closed. Allen sat back into his seat, looking straight at the back of the driver's seat.

He figured it really wasn't his business.

-----

Allen played with the tips of his gloves, hands in his lap. He'd never been in a private jet before, so his eyes were greedily taking in his surroundings, remarking at the fluffiness of his seat to the fact that you could actually _see_ through the windows. The floor was clean and clear of any mystery substances, and the temperature was perfect, not too cold and not too stuffy, which made Allen extremely grateful.

Allen looked everywhere in the small plane, except for the seat across the way from his. He didn't want to aggravate his companion further, already having irritated him concerning his luggage and getting randomly chosen for a search hadn't helped matters either. Allen was surprised and relieved at once to not have to see any dismemberments when the security guard began patting down the older boy.

Now everything was peaceful and quiet, save for the thrumming of the engine below his feet and the light scuffling of the pilot in his cabin.

After five minutes since sitting, Allen's curiosity finally got the better of him.

"Um--"

"Shut up." Kanda replied sharply.

"Y-you didn't even know what I was going--!"

"That because I don't want to hear it." he interrupted again, and Allen bit the inside of his cheek to prevent the nasty remark he'd just thought of from coming out.

"I just--"

"Can it--"

"--want to--"

"Are you _seriously this stupid_?"

"--get your name!" Allen rushed out at the last minute, right before Kanda's fist met with his face.

Kanda paused, then settled himself back into his seat. Allen relaxed his shoulders a bit, still staring and barely breathing. Kanda's eyes looked to the left, taking in all that was Allen Walker and frowned.

"I'm Allen Walker." he stated cautiously, speaking slowly as if it would placate his temperamental companion. Allen held out his hand and gave a small smile. "Pleased to meet you."

It wasn't that he was particularly set against having the beansprout know his name, more that Kanda didn't really feel like telling him.

"Tch. Like I'd shake hands with a cursed person." Allen looked down at his hand and saw his wrist exposed by an inch, charred skin rearing itself forward to attention.

Allen's eyebrows did a ninety degree turn. "Tch? _Tch?_ Where are your manners? Shouldn't we be properly introduced? How can you be so discriminating?!"

"Tch."

"_Tch?_"

"Masters Kanda and Walker, please fasten your seat belts, as we will be taking off momentarily." the pilot called through the speaker and Kanda fastened his seat belt dutifully. Allen's angry face calmed into a glum face, and he did likewise. He looked over begrudgingly, and watched Kanda lie back and fold his hands behind his head, eyes already closed.

"Kanda huh?" he muttered.

"Dumbass huh?" Kanda retorted, lips barely moving, almost confusing Allen to think there was a third person present.

"Hey!" Allen protested angrily, but was jerked in his seat when the stairs were removed from the plane.

"We are now taking off." the pilot said routinely and Allen rubbed his tongue against the top of his mouth, trying to will away the pain that had come from biting it.

Kanda said nothing still as Allen slumped down into his seat, planning to say nary a word for the rest of the flight.

Nothing could be worse than flying 10 hours in such a small space with Kanda, Allen was willing to bet. Better not do anything to make it more unpleasant.

-----

A/N: I was my chemistry teacher's worst nightmare 8D

Um, lots of things left open, so I just want to let you know I'll be addressing them. Timcanpy IS in this story--don't worry. Kanda will get the spotlight soon, and we'll get to know a bit about him and his vampire-ness. There will be one chapter dedicated to giving out loads of information, so I don't know if you'll find that annoying or useful--it might be a little dull, but it won't be for a few chapters.

I think this chapter was a little shorter than the previous two, but my idea ran out and I didn't want to drabble.

Let's see, next chapter you can look forward to seeing most of the DGM gang! Linali and Komui for starters, though I don't think Lavi will enter until chapter five... :(

Um, any questions let me know, anything you would like to see/ have addressed will be seen and appreciated. So seriously, if anyone wants to shoot me a plot bunny, I am so open (and when I say shoot, I mean '_shoot_'. I hate bunnies D8 ). Also thanks to all the reviewers so far! Really, you all make my day :D (These tabs are pissing me the hell off ): )


	4. Chapter 4

Linali took in a deeper breath than was required for someone not particularly tired, bored, nor in need of oxygen. She squint her eyes and smiled as she looked over the horizon, taking a small pleasure at the look of absolute confusion on the six year old holding a struggling cat by the pond. The sun hadn't completely set yet, so technically she wasn't supposed to be here, but she didn't particularly care today.

Today wasn't special, but nether was it insignificant. Or at least, it wasn't now. Linali laughed aloud to herself for no particular reason and swooped down, kicking the top of a tree with her foot playfully and admiring the way it shot back and rocked back and forth, as if chastising her for being so rude. Linali flew on a bit more, relaxing her shoulders as the air became colder than comfortable and the colors of the sky turned to her favorite shades of violet and orange. She hummed to herself, merely staring out at the world and not really registering anything. The birds went ignored and the planes unacknowledged, and Linali unconsciously let the life around her slip by for an hour. Finally a small clearing in the forest was seen and Linali's eyes shot open. She recognized her stop and her muscles did the rest.

She dipped down the gripped the broom tightly, closing her eyes. The air stopped rushing and Linali touched down on the soft ground with ease and practice. She looked around her and spotted a few friends. She smiled and made her way over. "Hi Fou. Hi Johnny." she greeted.

"Hey." Fou responded half-mindedly. She was currently very bored and more involved with the practice of turning a blade of grass into a musical instrument than making small talk.

"Hello Linali!" Johnny said enthusiastically. He waved his arm even though she was merely steps away and gave her a dorky grin. Johnny was one of the very few Wizards in the world. Wizards were technically speaking 'witches', only for the fact they also were men. Well, not exactly men. Wizards were hermaphrodites, and so with the special geneology of having witch-blood and if they were by chance of both genders, then they were 'Wizards'. Linali didn't always get along with Wizards, due to their extreme inferiority complexes and of course, gender confusion. This usually caused them to be extremely emotional or overcompensate _a lot_. Johnny was the over emotional type, but Linali was a nice person, and wasn't one to wave someone off just because they annoyed her.

She smiled to him and set down her broom against the nearest tree.

"You're late." Fou said, still preoccupied.

"Sorry." Linali said and Fou scoffed. Despite their polar personalities, they seemed to get along nicely and Linali wouldn't be lying when she said that Fou 'got her'. She knew Linali was late on purpose.

"Damn fairies been making trouble again." she grumbled, tossing away the grass and swinging her legs on the rock.

"Damn fairies." Johnny mimicked, eyebrows downright angry and mouth scowling. Fou rolled her eyes.

"Oh?" Linali asked.

"'Nother wish, 'nother mess." Fou growled and lay down on the rock, looking up at the sky.

"Hmm. That will be a problem." Linali said, making sure not to say anything too committed.

"No shit." Fou returned.

Linali smiled. "I can take care of it."

Fou's head popped up. "Seriously?"

"No problem."

"Your smile is so bright it confuses time." Fou said as she dropped her head back down.

"Hey! I _like_ Linali's smiles!" Johnny shouted, fists pumping as Fou brought her hands to her ears. Linali laughed and Fou scowled as it reminded her of the tinkling of bells.

"Thank you Johnny. It's no trouble. Just tell me what's going on."

Fou took in a deep breath of air and held it for an unbelievably long amount of time. She shot it out, scaring Johnny off his seat and rustling Linali's hair in the slightest.

"Some bitch fairy thought it'd be fun to grant a mom's wish to have a quiet kid. Turned the brat into a mute." Fou sat up and looked at Linali directly. "Any suggestions?"

"I could befriend the mother and suggest a psychologist." Linali said thoughtfully, index finger resting on her chin. "We could heal her in six months easy."

"Too long!"

"I said I'd take care of it." Linali shrugged. "I don't mind. As long as I remember to give her speech back in six months, I'd deem it a success."

"Except for the psychological trauma." Fou bit out.

Linali sighed. "They'll never be 'wins'." she tapped her finger on the tree and peeled off a bit of bark, stuffing it into her pocket. Cedar was especially potent for warding spells.

"Whatever."

Fou jumped off the rock and headed for the edge of the clearing. She snatched her broom and tucked it under her legs. She gave Linali a dubious look and pointed up.

"Later." she said and Linali nodded. Just as Linali was heading to fetch her own broom, a hand caught her arm.

"Linali," Johnny said, leaning in forward. "I thought it was a _great_ idea." he smiled, showing all of his small baby-like teeth and glasses glinting with the last light of the sky. Linali fought off the urge to remove his hand, and instead smiled.

"Thanks."

-----

"You sure you can handle it?"

"Of course."

"...You don't seem like you can handle it."

"Am I not capable?"

"You tell me."

"I am capable."

"Capable and under control?"

"Of course."

"Liar."

"Not so."

"Don't be a bitch....I thought you were over it."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Dammit you're so hard to deal with. It's like fucking churning butter. Don't laugh."

"Sorry."

"...You better not screw it up. Just because you're the head's sister doesn't mean you're allowed to screw up. It gets shoved on us--all your shit."

"Okay."

"...Bitch."

-----

Lavi smirked as he sucked on his lollipop, winking at the nearby cutie handling the pretzel stand. She rolled her eyes, but Lavi saw her cough a smile into her hand before dutifully going back to work. He rolled his shoulders and wiggled his fingers, shoving them in his pockets with style. He leaned back against the wall and patiently waited.

An hour and three beautiful women later, and he was not disappointed.

Lavi made his way past security and down the stairs, out onto the field. The small plane touched down and landed before his awaiting converses and big lopsided grin. The side door opened and the stairs descended. Lavi ignored the anticipation he was feeling and continued to appear calm and collected. A small form stepped out and Lavi's right eye grew larger to get a better look. On closer examination it wasn't an old man he was looking at, but a kid. Well, not necessarily a kid, but definitely in the young category. The boy looked around--boy? Maybe? Lavi didn't see a noticeable chest, but the long hair and big eyes seemed suspicious--at his surroundings and was soon interrupted by a foot from behind.

He was kicked out and he fell down the stairs with an unceremonious plop on the hard cement. Lavi wanted to laugh. He did. Luckily the kid was too far away to hear--that, or he was more concerned with directing a very malicious aura towards the abuser. Lavi smiled as he looked from the young'un to the older man towering above him, completely apathetic to the growing bruise on his head. He looked up and spotted Lavi and Lavi twiddled his fingers as a wave.

Lavi could feel the fangs even though he was 30 feet away.

He rushed up and bounced on the ground hard, shocking the white-haired kid to standing position and earning a glower from the other.

"Honey! You're home!" Lavi opened his arms and reached for a hug when large hands pushed him away.

"Get the hell away from me!" Kanda shouted, none too politely.

"But _Yuu--!" _His mouth was covered with ample force and for a moment Lavi was merely content to look at Kanda. Kanda glared back, only raising his eyebrows until it was too late. With a mischievous grin Lavi licked the hand and Kanda jumped back wiping it on the plane's ladder handle.

"Disgusting!" Lavi ran around to the other side of the stairs and smiled.

"You didn't say that last night!" he shouted and ducked behind the bar.

"You filthy prick." Kanda growled, forehead twitching as Lavi suppressed a chuckle. Conveniently, just when Kanda was about to smash in the pearly whites Lavi was showing him, Allen decided to interrupt.

"Um, I beg your pardon."

"Down on your knees." Kanda said. Allen blinked.

"Eh?"

"I can't tell if you're begging unless you get down on your knees." Kanda said, one eyebrow raised. Intrigued, Lavi looked from Kanda to Allen, wondering in the sudden change of malevolent focus. Kanda wasn't exactly your average short-attention spanned guy. In fact, Kanda was known for holding a grudge like a holiday fruitcake--frozen and never to be fully consumed. Such a switch, and so quickly, wasn't usually Kanda's style.

Lavi looked at the young lad again--had to be, from his voice--and gave a low whistle. This was gonna be good.

Allen's smile grew and twitched noticeably. His eyes were hidden behind his hair and his finger, once pointing at the two, was shaking.

"It's..._an expression_..." he appeared to struggling profusely, keeping his temper in control.

"Don't say things you don't mean. Don't be fucking _British_. (1)" Kanda bit out, sneer in place and hand dropping to his side, forgetting all about the new companion ducking behind the metal bars like a convict evading an abusive Bailiff.

"What?" The white-haired lad's voice deepened significantly, and Lavi bit his lip in anticipation, feeling warm for the first time since he'd come to Germany. Grey eyes met indigo and neither budged, blinked nor breathed.

Lavi had counted to 116 seconds when he decided to break the tension.

"I have cake?" Lavi said, but wavered off on the word 'cake' when Kanda's glare began to smother him again.

"Cake?" came an excited voice, and Lavi looked from over his hide-out at the other boy again. His glare was gone and something very close to a smile hovered over his features. His eyes were alight with hope and trust, and Lavi felt bad for a moment that the cake fore-mentioned had been sat on earlier.

Motocycles didn't leave much room for space.

"Sure." Lavi smiled. He could make up for it with his wit and charm, he supposed.

"How wonderful!" he clapped his hands together and smiled in delight.

"Yeah yeah, wonderful! Nothing like cake to cure all differences, right Yuu?"

"Don't call me that you man-whore." he grumbled, crossing his arms and standing so straight it made Lavi's back ache. Lavi clutched his chest and grimaced.

"Oh, straight into my _heart_ Yuu! Must you be so cruel to the one that knows you like no other?"

"Get the fuck away from me you fag."

Lavi gasped. "That was mightily politically incorrect."

"I disagree."

"You mean I'm a cigarette? Smokin' hot and addicting?(2)" he smiled. Kanda growled. Lavi laughed.

"I don't think we've been introduced." Lavi looked up, smiling. The young man walked up and stuck a hand between the bars. "I'm Allen Walker. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Bitch, please." Kanda scoffed, leaning against the other side of the ladder. "No one wants to hear your formalities."

Lavi grinned as Allen twitched. "That was quite uncalled."

"Hmph." Allen began shaking with anger again and Lavi took his hand. "Nice ta meecha. You can call me anything synonymic to 'awesome' or Lavi."

Allen smiled, Gentleman face taking control once more. "Pleasure, Lavi." He let go of Lavi's hand and Lavi held onto the bar with both hands, bending forward close to Allen's face and tilting his thin hips to the side.

"Any reason our Yuu-chan is so tight today?" he whispered. Allen stopped himself from rolling his eyes in an altogether fed-up manner and sighed.

"You mean he acts human normally?" he consulted, eyes wide with hope.

Lavi barked out a laugh. "_Hell _no!" Allen's shoulders drooped with disappointment. "But normally he's just too apathetic to care. I think you struck a chord with him."

"Heeh? How is that?" Lavi shrugged his lanky shoulders.

"Beat me hubby."

"I can _hear_ you, you know." Kanda said, particularly irritable.

"Really? Why didn't you say so? Did you know that Yuu has a pink shirt?" Lavi shouted.

"It's SALMON!" Kanda bellowed, coming after Lavi with renewed hate.

"Whoo!" Lavi raised his arms above his head and ran around the airfloor, having the time of his life as he was being chased by a man very capable of taking his head clean off just with a hand alone. "Follow the leader Allen!" Allen's eyes shot open as he realized he was being left behind--quickly.

"Ah, good day!" he shouted out to the pilot, grabbed his bag and ran after the two. Twenty minutes, two very out-of-breath males and one smiling Lavi later, they were in the airport parking lot standing in front of a brand new black '78 Indian(3). Allen whistled, tilting his head to the side in admiration.

"Yeah, I know." Lavi said, patting the seat. "It was _so _worth my soul."

Allen figured even a dignified response would have gone ignored, and thus remained silent.

"Hop on bitches!" Lavi chirped and threw Allen a helmet. Allen fumbled with the huge size, but after looking at it, questioned, "Will this really fit me?"

"Dunno." Lavi said absent-mindedly, wiping off a small smudge on the fender. Allen stood confused for a moment, but just when he was going to put it on it was snatched from him.

"You won't need it." Kanda stated, holding it in the crook of his elbow as he released his hair. Allen didn't reply right away as Kanda shook his head and the long strands of black streamed down his back, swishing in the wind. If Allen had been a girl, he would have been _very_ jealous. Kanda braided his hair with practiced efficiency and put on the helmet.

"Wait a minute, then what am I wearing?" Allen pouted slightly with hands on his hips. Lavi laughed at the femininity of it all, but stopped when he had to focus on keep his balance when Kanda shoved him off the driver's seat.

"Whoa--! Ow, uh, I dunno." Lavi said. "I forgot to bring a spare." he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and put on his own helmet. He took his place behind Kanda and patted the 3 centimeters left behind him on the cycle. "Hop on!" a cheerful muted voice came from behind the hooded padding.

"That isn't nearly enough room!" Allen all but shrieked indignantly.

"Don't think I won't leave you here runt." Kanda said, and with that turned on the engine with a loud rumble, Allen wincing as he noticed the lack of a good muffler. He hopped on, carefully imbedding himself in the small space left and held tight to Lavi.

"Nah wait, this won't do." Lavi took hold of Allen's hand and brought him in front of himself and behind Kanda, squishing him in like a sardine. "There! Now you won't be fresh tar."

"You touch anywhere but my waist and I'll crash this thing." Kanda threatened. Allen began to sweat nervously.

"Hold on tight, little guy." He head Lavi say. "Yuu isn't what you'd call a 'cautious driver'."

"Then why are you letting him drive?" Allen asked, eyeing the ground and his lack of security.

"Too late now. Smurf it baby!(4)" Allen could feel the smile from behind him and sighed a dismal groan. Or he would have, if Kanda hadn't torn out of the parking space so fast the air travel caused car alarms to go off.

* * *

A/N: Alright, this chapter went nothing like I'd originally thought, but I still kind of like it. Just for Lavi, cause he IS every synonym for awesome.

I've got a lot of things to explain here, so let's do this ::cracks knuckles::

**Kanda**: Kanda is older, over 100 years old, so he won't be as short tempered FOR THE MOST PART. He'll be short-tempered because that's what his personality dictates, but you'll be seeing a lot of apathy. More so than you might be used to. Also, he'll be calling Lavi more in-pardonable names, rather than 'baka usagi'. That was all nice in the Edwardian period, but this is present times folks, and most people over the age of 14 seems to fancy themselves sailors and speak as such.

**Allen**: (Sigh) Okay, don't get me wrong, I think uke Allen is really cute. But ladies (and gentlemen) HE'S A DAMN HERO. THE HERO of the story, so he's not going to be curled on the ground in fetal position begging to be fucked by Kanda. Sorry that was a bit brutal, but this is rated M for a reason. I accept these fanfictions, 'cause some of them are funny, or good, or just plain not my business, but when it comes to my work this is the way I do things. So...Allen's gonna take this shit like a man.

**Lavi**: Despite being called a 'man-whore' by Kanda, he will not BE a man-whore. Yes Lavi likes to flirt with girls but that doesn't mean he's bedding every one of them. Ask guys on the street. They might even be good-looking, but just because guys LIKE girls doesn't mean they want to screw every one. Lavi is a kind-hearted guy, he's not gonna just sleep with some chick and dump her. That's what I think anyway.

Hooray for Linali being OOC because I gave her a PERSONALITY. Kind of. I don't know. She's really hard, because she does have a personality, it's just....hidden. Which Fou is pretty good at getting to, cause she's able to get under your skin like that. I don't know. There's a lot I don't know. (Like why people are into twincest ::shudder:: No offense, just not my cup of tea.)

Um, back to the STORY: Next chapter, welcome to the Dark Order!

Thanks for all the reviews again. Seriously. You make me weep tears of unadulterated joy. Makes me happier than watching The Simpsons in German (it is da shit).

Footnotes:

1. British: Stereotype British person is usually very polite, modest, and do not express their real feelings for the sake of propriety. Kanda, being an asshole.

2. Fag: Also British slang to mean cigarette, to which Lavi responds as shown.

3. I'd sell _my _soul for one.

4. 'Smurf it': The Smurfs, an old popular American cartoon show. The Smurfs are tiny blue things, and have their own language to which they replace almost every word with 'smurf'. Very confusing, if you aren't fluent. Al about context. So Lavi's just being stupid. ;D


	5. Chapter 5

Allen didn't know what riding a bullet train was like, but he really never had the desire to ride one.

Especially after riding with Kanda.

It was all he could do to not vomit on the sidewalk--mostly because he was too busy kissing it.

"I never thought I'd survive." he moaned grimly. Lavi whopped him on the back and smiled beautifully.

"Look at it this way--now you know _exactly _what to fear most."

"This is a good thing?" Allen asked, with considerable dubiousness.

"Sure. Now everything else will pale in comparison. Look at me! I'm practically fearless." he grabbed Allen by the back of his shirt and hauled him up from the ground. Without warning, Kanda's leg shot out to Lavi's head. Lavi ducked with a speed Allen marveled at, and came back up smiling as if nothing had happened. Seeing Allen's wide eyed gape, Lavi laughed it off. "No need to worry, it's just Yuu's way of showing me he cares!'

"Fuck you." Kanda snapped, emphasizing the phrase with a straight middle finger. Lavi pretended to catch something in the air and pressed it to his heart. He blew a kiss to the raging mad man in front of him and winked with his good eye (or so Allen assumed).

"Thanks babe! Now!" he brought Allen to his side and slung an arm around his shoulders, leaning down due to the considerable distance in height, which Lavi noticed immediately. "Damn, you are short. How tall are you?"

"None of your business!" Allen shouted, having had it up to his ears in insults today. Lavi laughed.

"Hey Yuu! I think we broke him. Think if I pull the string in his back he'll go back to smiling and tell me to have a nice day?"

"How 'bout I stick my foot up your--"

"Ass, yeah, I know." Lavi waved it off and carried Allen along with him up the stairs. There were a lot of them, Allen noticed.

"Just where is this place?" Allen asked, somewhat suspicious. The stairs were old and cracked, no longer grey and now part of the earth they were surrounded in. Allen had to make sure to be careful, with Lavi pulling him up and the numerous missing steps, Allen could easily be hurt if he fell.

"Awhile from here. We have to make sure no one just come tramping all over the spot. What would a human do if they came across a hungry vampire at night? Right Yuu?" Lavi smirked. Allen's eyes widened, and looked behind him to prepare for the coming strike.

There was none. "Hmph." Kanda retorted, sniffing haughtily and bringing his nose higher. Allen slowly turned back around, just in time to evade a tree root that tried to trip him.

"Don't lose your footing brat. These plants aren't exactly what you'd call friendly." Kanda smirked.

"Much like you." Allen had said it softly and was a bit surprised when he felt something sharp protruding in his back.

"What was that, Beansprout?"

"What _is_ that?" Allen asked, able to keep most of the fear out of his voice.

"_That _ is the only thing in this world Yuu truly gives a damn about. Except me of course." Lavi winked again.

"Shut your trap dipwad." Lavi chuckled.

Allen turned around and found himself face to face with a very sharp, very threatening sword, held by a very frightening man.

"Sword?" he asked, "Where did _that_ come from?"

"He hides it in his jeans, along the side." Allen gave him a wide eyed look and Lavi shrugged. "I don't know how either."

"This, sprout, is Mugen. And if you want to live, I suggest you keep your filthy cursed hands off it."

"Then maybe you should stop _pointing it at me_." Allen's eyes glinted dangerously, although his face held a smile. Lavi whistled.

"Damn! Was that a threat?" he asked eagerly.

"Yeah, what that _a threat?_" Kanda asked again, seriously.

"You care to find out?" Allen grinned wider, and Lavi was both nervous and excited to see this dangerous side of Allen again. The kid had balls.

"Now, now! Let's play nice children!"

"Shut up Lavi." Kanda scoffed, and was surprisingly accompanied by Allen saying the same thing at the same time.

"Err...right." Lavi didn't really like the way their relationship was turning out. For some inexplicable reason, he had the feeling it would spell out some very bad news for him. He pointed behind him, up the stairs. "But maybe we should get going?" he asked, trying not to sweat bullets for the aura these two were creating. Allen's eyes followed the direction, and Lavi took in a deep breath he hadn't known he'd needed when the young boy's shoulders relaxed. He clapped his hand on Allen's shoulder again and smiled cheerfully. "Come on beansprout." he smiled.

"I'm not a _beansprout_. Why you too?"

"It's catchy, ya gotta admit."

Allen swallowed his anger and continued up, hoping it wouldn't be too much further. After all, knowing there was someone behind you that could and would take off your head at the slightest irritation wasn't the best feeling in the world.

Allen sincerely hoped that after this, Kanda would remain scarce.

-----

Fou...didn't have many friends. Yes, there _is _always the argument she would prefer it that way and blah blah blah, but either way it said a lot about her. One, that she didn't make them easily and two, she wasn't always good at keeping them. The point?

Fou was a bit antisocial. She had a strong temper not many could handle, and though she meant the best, her actions never matched her intentions. She kicked the wall profusely, not caring that her foot was already broken in three places and her socks were ruined from the blood.

Fou lived because she was given life. She didn't see any alternative purpose to her existence, and so she did what she wanted when she wanted. Not to say she was necessarily primal, but she was loud when angry, bitchy when cranky, and pissy when frustrated.

She didn't have too many other emotions.

So when one friend managed to come along and stick, Fou didn't always bother to keep them. She never felt the need for friends and didn't want to grow too dependent on them--she wanted to be strong, she wanted to be independent.

Linali didn't add room for that type of thinking. She smiled when Fou was loud, she laughed when Fou was bitchy, and she gave her the most genuine understanding when she was pissy.

Fou needed that. She needed a friend by her side, as much as she hated admitting it. As much as she hated admitting it, she was human, and humans need things like love, affection and empathy.

It had taken a long time for Fou to adjust. She had lashed out at Linali countless times for just breathing, but every time Linali would shake it off--never taking it personally. Fou didn't know why Linali stuck around--for the most part she treated her like an abusive husband would a wife--but in the end she was always grateful, and never wanted the situation to change.

She didn't want Linali to find a better friend, to take her confessions and smiles elsewhere, because Fou liked seeing them, experiencing them. She liked knowing she was important in the life of Linali Lee, and these things were confirmation to her that they were in fact, friends.

Fou let out one last silent scream, feeling the steam explode from her ears and gave the wall one last punch.

She hated that goddamn thing.

She hated Linali.

Stupid Linali, sacrificial lamb Linali, hide-your-feelings-from-your-best-friend-because-she's-fine-no-really-fine-Linali. Fou stood at the wall, huffing an puffing to drive any wolf envious.

Linali was Fou's best friend. So why couldn't Fou be Linali's best friend?

-----

It was sometime before the one hundredth mosquito bite and after the one thousandth time Kanda stuck Mugen into Allen's back that they reached the Dark Order Headquarters.

And it was named aptly that. Allen shuddered as he looked at the enormous skyscraper before them that hung forebodingly to the side. Like the tower of Pisa it was tilted and spiraled, but rather than wanting to be picked up and supported, it hunched over like a gargoyle, looming and scaring the crap out of rosy-cheeked children.

One being Allen.

"This is the place?" Allen asked, understandably apprehensive.

"What?" Lavi asked, smiling. "You thought it'd be covered in doves and roses? Come on man! This is a _supernatural_ dump, gotta take extra precautions. It's real nice inside, you'll see." Before Allen had the chance to ask another question Kanda shoved him from behind.

"Watch it!" Allen shouted. Kanda glared at him, and in the dark, Allen swore he saw his blue eyes glowing. "...Please."

"Tch. Wimp."

Allen tossed off the remark and followed Lavi to the doors. Both were tilting forward as if about to swallow him whole.

"How stable is this building?" Allen asked.

"Stable as my sanity." he smiled. "Don't worry, it's in great shape. Now smile pretty for the camera--we're about to make a candid moment." Lavi shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back away from the building, as if the doors held some sort of magnetic polarity. Allen cleared his throat and straightened his tie.

"Dork." Kanda said, coming up and lightly pounding his fist on Allen's head. "They're not actually going to take a picture."

Allen pouted and did his best not to succumb to the pain and rub his head. "I know! I just want to make a good impression to whoever opens it. Really." Allen blew out his frustration and looked forward, unconsciously tapping his foot in anticipation. He really just wanted to get away from this man.

Forever.

A shooting red light burst from the top of the doors and Allen bolted up straight, "Noobs.(1)" Lavi laughed to himself. "What's happenin' yawl?" he shouted out to the door. Allen looked up at the light and froze when it came down to meet him. It covered his body from head to toe and Allen had to shake away the thoughts that told him it was awfully similar to what Tyki and Rhode had done--

-----

Linali stopped pouring coffee at the sound of the monitor beeping. She put down the cup and walked over, calmly looking at the screen. The red light beeped frantically and a light layer of snow shot it's way down the screen from old age. She squinted to get a closer look and turned around when more footsteps entered the room.

"Hey guys." she smiled. "Got company."

"Who is it?" asked Reever, picking up the half poured coffee and taking it all in one gulp.

"I don't know, let me check." She bent down and moved closer, identifying three figures. Two tall and one short. The tall ones she knew, the short one however--

"What's happenin' yawl?" a static voice sounded from the voice box and Linali smiled in spite of herself.

"Hey Lavi."

"Linali? Hey girl! I got Yuu--"

"Shut the fuck up--"

"And a fresh one here. Can you open the door?" Linali smiled as she saw Kanda fold his arms and turn to the side and Lavi come over and put two fingers behind his head--rabbit style.

"No problem." she laughed. I'll be right down." she moved around the table and headed out the door when the alarm went off.

She swung back around and looked at the screen again, checking to make sure. Lavi and Kanda stood still while the third one jumped in surprise.

"Goddammit." she heard Kanda grumble as the screen went black momentarily. The next second Lavi was gone and only Kanda and the newcomer remained.

"Alert! Alert! We have a code-red situation! Intruder! Alert!" rang out a computerized voice and Linali rushed back to the screen, followed by many others.

"Well this is no good." Linali turned around and looked up at the head officer Komui. He looked down on the screen disapprovingly and frowned. "Get him out of here!"

* * *

A/N: And trouble ensues. So I guess I just want to make a small note concerning

**Fou**: You're gonna have to read between the lines on this chick. I know I tend to give her the hard edge of bitchiness, but really, we all know in the series it's just a face for her. She really is concerned about the people she likes, Linali being one of them (in here). She goes hard on people because she wants them to become stronger. I am NOT turning this into a Fou/Linali side fic (lol, funny), but I think if they met they could get along, and if they knew each other for a long time, it could end up something like this. And more about

**Linali**: I do like her, I think she has extreme potential. However, she is the main character of a shounen manga, therefore she has to be the natural female figure to do all the weeping and worrying, which can grade on my nerves. I'm giving her an _edge_ here. She will be a bit OOC, because mostly I have a hard time really knowing who she is in the first place. She'll have the basic qualities she has in DGM, like the fact she'll do anything to protect her 'family', and she is an altogether nice girl.

You know, it makes me sad, some people. I understand that not everyone is into the music scene, but sometimes, it really gets to me. It really freaks me out to know that some people DON'T KNOW WHO FREDDY MERCURY IS.

(If you don't know LOOK IT UP FASTER THAN KANDA SHIFTS GEARS.)

Oh Freddy, if you were still alive, I would dedicate my life to turning you straight so I could marry you and have you sing me to sleep.

And please, REVIEW DAMMIT. REVIEW LIKE YOU'VE NEVER REVIEWED BEFORE. I love them ALL, even the pointless ones that are like, "Lol, what's ur fav c0lor?" (It's red). So here's a small prompt for you: If you could date ANYONE in DGM, who would it be?

Now I personally thought very hard about this. Normally I would say Kanda (cause he's SEX in pants) but I really don't want to die, so I have to say no. Allen is more like the nephew I would coddle and spoil, not sexually appealing for me, so no. Then Lavi is an obvious option, but I then had to go with someone else.

I WOULD DATE LINALI because she makes THE RADEST COFFEE EVER.

I would SO turn lesbian for good coffee every morning.

Footnotes:

Mostly this chapter Lavi was just being an asshole. :D

'Noobs': Internet speech for 'newbie' or, new recruit. Along those lines.


	6. Chapter 6

Allen jumped nearly twice his height when the alarm went off.

"Calm down sprouty, it's just a mistake. I'll clear this up in no time." Lavi assured him, running off before Allen could stop him.

He looked around, eyes darting from place to place, checking his surroundings in case he needed to bolt. Damn this place for being so far from civilization!

"Tch. Just calm down would you?" Kanda growled, fist coming out and barely missing Allen. Lavi was right--even Kanda's punches weren't so scary after that motorcycle ride.

"Calm down? With _you_ next to me? I don't think so." Allen's lip jutted out and Kanda's eye twitched.

"You snotty brat I could have killed you multiple times up to now!"

"Prove it!" Allen shouted. His reasoning was gone with his panic and he prepared his fists for battle, bringing them up to his chin just like Master taught him and crouching down.

Lower than he should have.

Kanda's mouth almost hung unflatteringly low as he watched the midget squat to half his size to practically wiggle his butt in waiting for Kanda's attack. It would have been funny if Kanda weren't so mad at the stupid brat already. He raised his sword high and sliced it downwards, giving a small flick of the wrist as he turned the blade. Allen jumped back and fell on his rear. He winced slightly as his hand came down on a sharp pebble and let out an audible 'ow!' when his back landed on a pointy stick. He lifted his upper half quickly and made sure he was still intact. Not even his shirt was sliced.

Allen smirked pleasurably. "Ha. Didn't make a mark."

Kanda smirked right back. "Stupid. I wasn't even aiming for you."

Allen wrinkled his forehead in confusion. They rose immediately as he heard loud cracking coming from his right. Allen whipped his head to the side and watched as a huge Globe Maple tree began to snap and groan at the huge incision made just by the wind from Kanda's motion.

Allen's eyes made their way to Kanda. The wind from the force of the tree falling nearly threw Allen to the ground again, but Kanda was standing tall and firm, Mugen resting lightly on his shoulder. He looked down at Allen with something Allen couldn't quite name correctly. His face was covered in the night shadows and the only thing Allen could truly make out were his bright blue eyes and his mouth, actually smiling a simper that caused his shiny white teeth to gleam, and that's when Allen saw them.

Fangs.

Allen lifted a trembling finger and pointed it up to Kanda's ominous figure. "V-vampire?"

-----

"Brother!" Linali said, mostly to put it in her mind it was her brother standing there calmly drinking his coffee. "I think it's a mistake. Lavi and Kanda are with this new guy."

Komui raised an eyebrow and his glasses glinted in the light. "Where's Lavi?" he asked. Linali turned back to the screen and shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know." she shrugged and turned her eyes back to the screen. "Hey look at this!" Kanda's attacking the little guy!"

"Ah, good." Komui nodded, slurping his coffee. "The alarm was correct then."

Linali frowned. "You realize this is _Kanda_ right?" she asked doubtedly. Kanda would attack anything with two legs and a dick.

Komui paused and gave his little sister a pout. "I _know_." he assured her, sticking out his chin defiantly and glasses shimmering as he shook his head. "But I made this system after all and there is no way in _any_ way it could malfunction." he nodded his head proudly while the rest of the room went awkwardly silent.

"E-e...mmm." Linali said, unable to counter that with anything without her older sibling bursting into tears. Stomping was heard down the hall and all in the room looked from the monitor to the door nervously. Did the intruder somehow get inside? they wondered anxiously.

More harsh footsteps and a screech resounded in the hall. Red hair came into view as if the eyepatch weren't already a dead giveaway it was Lavi.

"Don't run! We are your friends!(1)" he shouted dramatically.

Linali sighed. "You're the only one running." she said.

"Yeah well, I like that movie." Lavi rubbed the back of his head and smiled. "What's up chiqua(2)?"

"I WON'T HAVE YOU CALLING MY LITTLE SISTER DEROGATORY NAMES LAVI!" Komui shouted, throwing his coffee cup at the young man. Lavi dodged quickly and looked back to see it slam into an innocent worker. He laughed and turned back around, heading over to greet Linali.

"So how are you?" he smiled, leaning his chin in his hands and leaning down on the table.

"Um Lavi?" she asked, leaning down to meet his eyesight and smiling.

"Will I take off my pants?" he asked casually. "Maybe later."

Linali tried not to giggle. "Weren't you going to tell us something?" she smiled knowingly and pointed to the screen. "Something important?"

Lavi's eyes opened and he looked from Linali to the monitor and back again. "Oh yeaaaaaah." he grinned and stood immediately after. "Allen's cool. He's the sprite Kanda was supposed to pick up." he turned to Komui who had gone to pick up the broken pieces of ceramic around the unconscious worker.

Komui stood wearing a blank expression while the rest of the room slackened their jaws; not one in the _slightest_ surprised at this turn of events.

He threw his hands down in an exasperated manner, dropped the pieces to the floor and sighed dramatically. "I can't remember _every_ mission."

"This is kind of an important one Boss." Reever broke out, sounding half-angry and half-who-the-fuck-cares. Linali shook her head and walked over to the door, exiting sharply.

"I'll go let them in while you all sort this out." she said. Her heels clicked on the floor nicely, resounding through the halls and making her smile--making her feel like she was entirely alone.

Then the screech of sneakers sounded.

"Leaving me behind." Lavi smiled. "How very...Dominique Francon of you.(3)"

Linali laughed, but picked up her pace. "To your Howard Roark?(4)"

"Of _course_." He grinned, taking his hands out of his pockets and gesturing to himself. "Don't I look like a martyr?"

Linali laughed again. "Hardly." She rolled her eyes and continued forward, Lavi talking the rest of the way. She half wanted to get rid of him and half wanted to listen to him for the rest of her life. There were no worries with Lavi--he was merely Lavi. Linali continued to laugh and smile like a marionette all the way to the gate. She sighed at her destination, surprised that not all of it was relief.

"Hello Fou." she greeted.

"Hey." she stated back, picking at her ear with her pinky and not even looking at Linali. Actually, Linali was surprised she was acknowledged at all. Fou wasn't one to forgive so quickly.

"I think we have some guests." she smiled. "Can we open the door now?"

"Alarm went off." Fou said. "Rules say no one comes in or out. You should know them Assistant Head Officer Lee." Fou raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest. Linali continued to smile, and Lavi felt as though something terribly dramatic was going right over his head. He loved that feeling.

"My brother has given his permission. It was a false alarm." Linali said. She held her hands behind her back and Fou rolled her eyes. One of these days Linali _was_ just going to go loose and kill every damn person in the vicinity. And Fou would probably be the first to go.

"No can do." she shrugged. She stared at Linali, who gave her a perfect innocent look: one that a doll would so envy. Lavi smiled, loving the tension, but wanting to make sure his new buddy was still in one piece.

Or rather, still pumping blood.

"Come awwwwn Fou! You know Linali would never lie. Jeepers creepers look at those peepers." Lavi took the chance and grabbed hold of Linali's head, squeezing her cheeks and causing her eyes to look larger than normal.

"Komui's going to kill you for that." Fou said, though her mood was somewhat less hostile.

"No worries, I always wear a bullet proof accessory around that guy. It's called a _smile_." he stated, smiling beautifully and winking.

"Whatever--but this is all on you. You open the damn door." she stated and leaned against the wall, staring at the pair.

"Okay, how does it work?"

"Figure it out."

"That's what she said." Lavi said, perfectly serious. Linali gave an annoyed sigh and Lavi laughed. Fou raised her eyebrows.

"Okay okay. Here's a lever thing. Pulling pulling...nothing." Lavi clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "Magic hands, magic hands..." he blew a small gust of breath on them and pressed every button he saw: which was all of them. Windows and portals slammed, small robots popped out of the walls, some dangerous saws began buzzing and cleaning solution squirted everywhere.

"Lavi! Do something!" Linali called as a robot began polishing her legs clean.

"Okay okay!" he shouted and pressed them all again. Fou was grinning like a maniac in the corner as Linali began wringing her shirt clean and Lavi kicked a violating robot out of his path. "Okay, what about this thing?" Lavi pointed to a double-handed lever.

"Keep smacking it back and forth till it does something." Linali shrugged vaguely, nearly fed up with the situation. Couldn't there have just been a door handle?

"That's what she said." Lavi sighed and smacked the lever with his palm. It went up with a slight click and at last, the double doors opened before the trio.

-----

Allen could hardly breathe.

A vampire?

A _vampire????_

"Y-You guys exist?" Allen squeaked, embarrassed by the high note but more concerned about...well, staying alive, instead.

"Tch. Don't you know anything stupid?" Kanda snorted. "Or are you just blind?"

"Th-the name's Allen! And I'm not blind! I just--..." Allen looked at Kanda again and his glinting eyes, shining brighter than his blade. "I've never seen one." _Nor have I ever wanted to_. He thought. His own teeth were chattering and the sound made him cringe and shiver. He didn't want to think about teeth, he didn't want to think about sharp things--God could that sword shine any brighter?--and he certainly didn't want to think about how Kanda was getting closer and closer to him, while Allen himself could hardly move.

The sound of the twigs crunching under Kanda's boots sounded too loud in Allen's sensitive ears. They sounded like bones. Bones, teeth, crunch.

Allen's small frame began quivering uncontrollably, _he was going to die_, and his vision was blurred by the night and the terrifying adrenaline that caused him to see red, _he was going to be killed,_ while Kanda kept moving closer and closer, _he was going to be murdered._

The crunching stopped and Allen looked up, only for the reason his vision couldn't be distracted by anything else at that moment. Kanda looked down on the young man cruelly, sneering and smiling and Allen knew there was nothing to be done.

He was going to die.

-----

It was a dark and stormy night, as coincidences work. Allen had run away from home again, and ended up at the library, one of the only places he knew if his teacher were to find him it would end up in his favor. Cross was sporting a mean like for the head librarian and Allen was sure he wouldn't speak more than a whisper, and the hammer wouldn't come to view.

In the library, Allen was safe, and by far that knowledge surpassed any distaste he had for dusty old silverfish eaten book spines and questionable wet spots on the backs of seats.

He ran his gloved fingers through his hair, wincing as they were caught in the tangled strands, and deciding he didn't care enough to make himself so presentable for the man snoring in the back and the woman so daringly nursing her newborn.

He sat down and lay his head on the table. The light above him was too bright and he turned it off without looking. A dim yellow light emitted from the center of the room, and it had a nice calming effect on Allen. He didn't bother looking out from the corner of his eye, knowing he would only receive an annoyed glare from the mother or see drool hanging from the chin of the old man. Allen turned his head, and prepared to fall asleep.

"Hey!" A harsh whisper cam from above him, and Allen jumped a bit, grey eyes widening in surprise. He looked up at the head librarian, who wore a deep frown as she pushed up her glasses. "No sleeping in the library." Allen wrinkled his forehead.

"But--"

"Shh!" she shushed, and turned away before Allen could point out the man in the corner. He sighed, and kicked his feet back and forth, pointing and flexing his toes to barely touch the floor with his movements. Something caught his eye. On the corner of the desk lay a small novel, though a bit thick for Allen's usual taste. Being a young lad, he was more inclined to read Richard Peck than Ayn Rand and the like. Sighing, he picked up the book. He didn't want to walk to the children's section--he was so tired--and this book didn't look half bad.

He paused before opening the novel, looking at the cover questioningly and wondering to himself if it was a scary book. But remembering Cross, Allen took a deep breath and opened the pages: anything was better than that man.

Time passed, and his eyes darted faster than normal across the page. This...this wasn't right. Faster and faster, Allen tried to get through the novel and reach some kind of satisfying end--the bad guys dead and defeated, never to darken the door of the innocent again.

There was no happy ending.

There wasn't even really a good guy.

Allen closed the book at its finish and silently stared out across the room, not taking in anything, and really just trying to not burst out into tears. After reading Interview with a Vampire, Allen would never be afraid of Cross again. For years to come Allen would sleep with his sheets above his neck, even in the humidity of summer when he would reach a temperature so high he thought his brain would melt.

Allen Walker had been traumatized, and though he still feared them and took precautions, he thanked Christ Jesus that vampires didn't exist.

-----

They did, yet didn't, expect to see Kanda over Allen with a maniacal grin, Mugen above his head.

It was typical Kanda.

Linali rushed over to the two and slapped Kanda on the shoulder. "Honestly Kanda! What are you doing attacking your mission?" she put her hands on her hips, taking a moment, then sighed an aggravated breath. "Let's go inside now." she dictated, leading the way into the building.

Lavi stood before the doors cool as a cucumber, despite the fact his clothes were soaked. "Baby! I'm back!" Lavi shouted.

"Shut the fuck up fool." Kanda growled, stepping inside. As the doors shut behind him he looked back at Allen who stood gaping at him and looking directly at his mouth. Kanda narrowed his eyes and turned his head quickly, earning a nice flip of his ponytail. "Ridiculous." he muttered and walked out of sight.

Allen stood next to Lavi and the new girl, doing his best not to shiver. _Those teeth_...despite himself he shuddered and looked away from where Kanda had made his dramatic exit.

Allen caught his breath and let out a shuddered sigh. He looked down on his hands and sighed. Alive, he was alive!

"Hey! No sweat little man, I got it all under control." Lavi smiled, completely having the wrong impression of what had truly terrified him. Allen took another deep breath and before he could ask any questions, was interrupted.

"Sure Lavi." the girl sighed, slightly smiling. Allen turned to look at her, and what he particularly noticed about her were her legs.

She had them all right.

She smiled at him kindly and Allen felt himself smiling back. Such a pretty girl; Allen sincerely hoped she was more normal than--...them.

"Hi there." she said, taking out her hand. "I'm Linali Lee. Welcome to the Dark Order."

* * *

A/N: Honestly--Interview with a Vampire was the worst book I have ever read. 10-year-old rapist? Really now?

This chapter went nowhere--for that I apologize.

I want to address my puns: if you ever see a pun in here that's so small that you think maybe it was unintentional--most likely it wasn't. Every word means something to me. Most of them are completely imbedded in knowledge uncommon or unlikely that you'd know, but if you see one--congratulations. One example would be when Lavi says, "Beat me hubby." 'Beat me' is a phrase one commonly uses to say, "I have no idea", but I added the 'hubby' (husband) on the end to give it the double meaning of the term 'beat' to mean hit/strike. So things like this. Another stupid (really stupid) one is the hotel clerk, Bill (because of his job of reciting bills to customers, and even down to Allen paying in cash (or bills)...really--I go this far).

Let's talk about **Lavi**...again:

What have I turned Lavi into? All of my pop culture references have been driven into him, honestly. He sets me free. 8D (Chainsaw revs). DGM takes place in the Edwardian period (or so I think--Linali's skirt begs to differ) and so during this period everything was about appearance and politeness and la-di-da.

MY fic takes place in the present time, so folks: there's a mentality difference. Lavi will be a bit more vocal and just obnoxious in general I believe, but still a likable and lovable dude. I'm giving him lots of pop culture references half because I love them and he is a perfect outlet, and half because I think Lavi in the 21st century would want to know everything about what people are into, and make use of that information. Make sense? If you really do think there is a line or two Lavi would never say, let me know though. Everybody's opinions are super important to me.

I gotta shut up in these notes. Oo;

Footnotes:

1. 'We are your friends!': Quote from 'Mars Attacks'. Great movie.

2. 'Chiqua': Spanish for 'girl', or 'chick'. It's not really offensive, so far as I know, be we all know Komui tends to overreact.

3. Dominique Francon: From the book, _The Fountainhead_. A main character. She's a beautiful woman who is extremely cold towards others, but amazing all the same.

4. Howard Roark. Also from The Fountainhead, main protagonist, Dominique's lover, and altogether strange martyr. Of sorts (it's an amazing book, for real).


	7. Chapter 7

I am NOT pleased with this chapter. But, I wanted to get it out on commemoration of Obama's inauguration (WHOO!!!) so, here it is.

* * *

"I-It's nice to be here." Allen smiled, reaching out to shake her hand. She took it and giggled.

"You say that like you mean it." Allen brushed off his shirt and looked into the twinkling eyes of the girl. "You wouldn't think you were dragged here by Kanda of all people." a slight frown hung on her mouth--disappointed in the man.

"Dragged?" Allen questioned, pausing momentarily before slapping out his pants of twigs and dirt. "Hardly. Really, you did me quite a favor coming to get me. Saved me a plane ticket anyway, and the hotel bill." Allen inwardly smirked knowing he'd gotten away with a very large debt from Marian Cross. With the explosion, a few unpaid for rooms would hardly be noticed.

"How do you mean?" Linali tilted her head inquisitively to the side. Her hair fell down like a dark sheet of water, round cheeks curving in a perfect aesthetic pose as she puffed them out slightly from curiosity.

"I'd been planning on coming here from the start." Allen informed her. He saw Lavi's eyebrows quirk up and one side of his mouth along with it. It seems Lavi would have a good time relaying this information to a very pissed off Kanda. "After visiting my father's grave in New Orleans, Cross had planned to take me here and have me registered." Allen's good natured smile fell into a pout. "At least, that's what I'd _thought_." the irritation lasted but a moment before the customary smile was brought forth. "But really, I consider it luck."

"Oh, well good then." Linali said. She covered her mouth with a delicate hand and laughed lightly. Allen took a moment to admire her, and found he could hardly compare her. The surroundings seemed blurred and unimportant as a smile graced her lips and as she leaned her weight onto her left foot. "I don't know if Kanda will be happy about this."

"Doll." Lavi interjected. "Leave it, to me." Allen took note of the extra hop to Lavi's step and the happy whistling that echoed in the hallway. He didn't really think of Lavi as the right messenger for the job, however, he wasn't quite willing to volunteer in his stead. If Lavi was so quick to head to his death, far be it for Allen to prevent him--human choice, and all that jazz.

"Come with me." Linali waved her hand in the opposite direction and Allen stayed at her clicking heels like a chick to a hen. "We've got lots of stairs and one out-of-order elevator, so that means you'll be fitter than Denise Austin(1). Each floor has a specific title, declaring the function of the workers associated." Linali paused as they reached the second floor. "The first ten floors are dedicated to being subdivisions of the Ack group."

"Ack?" Allen asked.

"Alt Kulturen Division. All divisions have nicknames--"

"--To keep it simple?" Allen tried to finish for her.

She shook her head. "Nope. Lavi thought of them and they stuck for some odd reason."

"So, is Lavi--...what is he exactly?" Allen asked.

Linali chuckled. "I can't really say." Allen was a bit disappointed by the lack of answer, and Linali touched her thumb to her chin in thought. She shrugged her shoulders. "Lavi is the special one around here."

"Meaning?"

"We have a saying around here: C'est Lavi.(2)" she said before continuing up the stairs. Allen waited a moment for a continuing sentence, but none seemed to be coming. He inwardly shrugged and followed her up. "The Ack group is in charge of all written documents, ranging from historical to modern day have to make sure normal humans aren't drawn into our world."

"Is there a reason for this?"

"The normal reason: what's the point?"

"Beg pardon?" Allen furrowed his brow, a tad confused.

"What good would it do, knowing about supernatural beings? It would cause panic, or worse, they'd search us out and try to join our ranks. It'd end in disaster, you see?" Linali's mouth smiled, though if one held a ruler to her face they would only get a straight line. "Makes sense to stay on the down low."

"I suppose...." Allen understood quite well the importance of 'down low'. His entire childhood was spent dodging the glares of prejudiced folk who saw no need for another orphan, and on top of that one with such a hideous arm. In his young years Allen had survived stealing from restaurant dumpsters and pitying, if half-crazy old women with bread crumbs in the park. He spent year after year alone, always making sure he was one step ahead of the social workers (only to be put into a loveless foster home--no thanks) and an extra leap before the cops.

But it became worse for Allen in his teens. He met a man, if given the choice, he'd have never even dropped gum for him to step on, and ended up roping along with. His life continued to fill with more excuses to delve into the dark parts of the social world, as if his 'powers' weren't enough. Thanks to the man known as Marian Cross, Allen had bigger sharks to steer clear from.

Cursed debt collectors were always trailing after him.

Allen ignored the small voice in the back of his head growling empty threats to a certain former teacher of his and concentrated on Linali's voice.

"The eleventh to twentieth floors are for the Direct Demon Resources Division, DDR, and they're in charge of the general supernatural resources, from jobs to special forces. Kanda is in one of those forces, the Exorcists. Only the most powerful and disciplined are able to join this force."

"What do they do?" Allen curiosity perked again. Kanda was especially powerful? He didn't know if that was a good thing, or a very, _very_ bad thing.

"Missions for the supernatural cause mostly. They bring important artifacts, documents for Ack, perhaps assassination missions for anyone important seeming to catch on--"

Allen gulped as the thought of Kanda killing someone came much too easily to image.

"--and finding blokes like you." she finished. Allen looked up into her black eyes, lingering for a moment.

"Linali, who are you?" Allen asked.

Linali blinked. "Me?" she smiled. "A witch."

Allen smiled in return. "Water sprite." he took her hand again and held on for a moment. "And proud."

Linali's smile faltered and she cleared her throat. She backed away from Allen's close proximity and headed farther up the tower. Allen's pout of thoughtfulness remained on the slight blush on her face and the slight quivering of her hands. Normally he'd have tried to get something more out of her--he did have entirely persuasive ways, young as he was--but something about her made him want to keep a bit of distance. Everything about the way she held herself suggested she was special, something God had created on accident. It seemed as if she wasn't meant to grace this planet, and was somehow suffering for it. The thought of pain seemed more important to Allen.

"Is there something--?"

"We should hurry. Brother is waiting for you." she said, ignoring the strand of words she most wanted to hear, and least wanted to acknowledge. Allen slowly started walking up the stairs again, walking in her shadow dutifully.

Linali swallowed and cleared her throat again needlessly. "These last flights are separated into the Science and Technology Division--"

"Let me guess, STD?(3)" Allen grinned.

Linali held back a small laugh. "Actually yes. My brother is the head of that group and the leader of this particular branch of supernatural HQ."

"There are more?"

"Yes, approximately one for each continent, and subgroups usually for each country. We man Europe and the European Union together here."

"Ah, I see."

"Science division controls health aspects, although we do have an infirmary, and experimentation."

"Meaning?"

"Nothing really." Linali answered shortly. Allen would have questioned further, but her heels sounded more foreboding than he remembered, and her head tilted up high. Allen knew he'd be pushing it if he touched the subject any longer. "Dorm rooms are located on the last several floors of the building and the highest floor belongs to my brother for his office."

"Dorm rooms?" Allen asked.

"Yes." Linali nodded. "Yours has already been made up."

"Oh." Allen only replied, as he was at a loss for words.

"You're not used to it are you?"

Allen looked up into knowing eyes, blinking twice and opening his mouth slightly. "You can tell?"

"We've all been there."

"So...this will be--..."

"Home."

"Home." The word sounded strange on Allen's tongue, and he wasn't sure if it was the good strange or the bad strange. He'd been a traveler his entire life, even with his foster father. He'd never really called anything 'home', and so his expectations of one were completely distorted.

Was home to be his sanctuary or his prison?

"Here we are, my brother's office. Get ready for it." Linali warned.

"Ready for what?"

-----

For some reason, Kanda found himself wanting to kill everyone within the atmosphere's limits: violently. He didn't really know why he was so angry, he only knew it had to do with a particularly annoying white-haired Beansprout and the person that had held him in charge of his retrieval. He ran up the stairs quickly, two, three, four steps at a time, running to Komui's office, not away from the Goddamn Beansprout.

He took the rhythm of his footsteps, heartbeat and breathing and tried to shove a quick meditation session in. Breathe in the calm, breathe out the anger. Breath in the good, breathe out--

"Get the fuck out of my way!" Kanda (needlessly) reached out to shove lab-coated man out of his way, throwing him down the stairs with considerable strength. The man let out a high shriek before plummeting down two flights of stairs, and Kanda barely rolled his eyes at the resulting crash he'd caused.

Johnny was resilient enough.

Kanda ran harder, oxygen coming in and out of his lungs at a rate not possible for normal human beings. He pumped his legs and scowled furiously, aiming to set a record Tyson Gay(4) would drop his jaw at. He growled on seeing his destination come far too quickly for his liking, but burst through with no introduction.

"Why the FUCK did I have to bring back that freak?!"

-----

Lavi smiled jovially as he climbed up the stairs two, three, four steps at a time to catch up to his friend. His long legs traveled over the stairs easily and Lavi whistled a tune to keep his mind from wandering too far from his initial task.

After a few times of pissing Kanda off to a dangerous level, Lavi had given up trying to convince himself he wasn't at least a tad suicidal. For reasons beyond Lavi's knowledge (or interest perhaps) he enjoyed seeing the veins pop out of Kanda's forehead, the darkening of his piercing eyes and the sweep of wind that followed after Kanda would try to decapitate Lavi.

Lavi heard a scream and several resounding thumps after. He dashed to the side and out of the aim of fire as Johnny came to slam against the landing and Lavi whistled, low and long.

"Geez, Johnny, you could have killed me!" Lavi chided before continuing on his way.

"S-sorry." Lavi managed to catch the small man say, and Lavi's smile grew wider.

Johnny was resilient enough.

He continued to run, or more likely skip, up the stairs, gleeful at the anticipation of Kanda attempting to yet again slice more body parts from his body. It was a game Lavi loved to play, if only for the exercise. Or more likely, the thrill of being chased and never caught.

Shouts boomed through the floor and Lavi knew he'd hit the jackpot. His heart began to race and his smile turned slightly devious.

Who said the rabbit always had to be the victim?

-----

Kanda bursting through the door hadn't quite been the frosting on the cake, but it was enough of a curse that Komui would definitely say his day had been ruined. Komui had heard the rushing of feet towards his door, and thinking it had been his lovelypreciousinnocentohsoinnocent baby sister he dashed and leapt simultaneously--difficult to do, but possible--to the door. Unfortunately, it was not Linali that had come to great him, but karma.

He always knew stealing candy from a baby had been too easy.

"Why the FUCK did I have to bring back that freak?!" Kanda bellowed to the room. Seeing a lack of audience, Kanda turned around swiftly, and loosened the door from the wall, which it had aptly been stuck to.

The door swung forward to reveal a very squashed, and a very bloody scientist on the back side.

"Oh, get over yourself." Kanda sneered, staring at the body that so wished it could fall to the ground like a slab of veal.

Lavi bursting through the door wasn't anything new, however, the second round of pain that shot up Komui's spine and caused his feet to go numb surely was.

"Dude! Get this--" Lavi started, coming towards Kanda at a pace not fit for approaching a hackle-raised carnivore. Especially ones that were also cannibals.

"Don't call me that!" Kanda shouted, blood boiling and teeth gnashing. "Don't call me _anything!"_

"'Something' then?" Smartass Lavi strikes again.

"You're dead fatass." Kanda whipped out Mugen and stared at the red-headed future dead thing.

"You're just so hard to please." Lavi whined.

"Both of you, come now." The nasal quality of Komui's attempt to calm down the two most rabid creatures in the whole vicinity put a slight damper on Kanda's killing rage. Blood dripped despite Komui's valiant struggle to keep his nose tightly shut between paper-cut fingers, and the dizzy smile that floated over the older man's features told them both he'd be passing out from blood loss in a few moments' time.

That, and the pile of blood dripping down the door and permeating the floor rug.

Lavi looked at Komui with a half-amused, half-empathetic expression while Kanda merely rolled his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest.

This is the moment Linali and Allen made their entrance, and neither looked so pleased at the sight.

"Hi." Lavi waved.

"Che." Kanda scoffed.

"Hnn..." Komui raised his hand in greeting, and promptly passed out.

* * *

A/N: Hey--reviewers: YOU RAWK. Over one hundred reviews? For 6 chapters? You make my LIFE. So thank you, thank you kindly.

I have to say, this is a very challenging situation. In the end, all I want is Yullen sex, but to get there I have to create my own supernatural world, complete with governmental control and bureaucracy tweaks. Wonderful, really. Oo;

And since this has been bugging me, I just have to say it: _**PANTHER IS SO CUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!!**_ From Eyeshield 21...yeah....

But oh my God, how long will it take before we actually get some introductions here?! I'm getting fed up with myself not...doing what I should be doing. I wanted Komui over and done with in chapter four, and here is chapter seven and we're just getting down to business. GEEZ! As it turns out, I have finally found out what exactly my Muse loves to be fed most: _rage_. Strange, but today I found myself oddly wanting to kill the world and all of this creative energy came bursting. If only it would just be satisfied with the Mamas and the Papas.

So, review prompt number two: If you could kill any one person in DGM, who would it be? Me: _**JOHNNY**_. I hate him more than...well, not more than Daniel Radcliffe, but close. Very close.

Footnotes:

1. Denise Austin: Anaerobic workout instructor, so technically I should have put someone else, like Billy Blank, but Denise brings back memories for me, and so, I keep it. :D

2. 'C'est Lavi': Pun on the French saying 'C'est la vie', meaning 'that's life'.

3. STD: Usually stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, for my foreign readers.

4. Tyson Gay: The fastest runner in the world, or at least in the U.S.


	8. Chapter 8

Lavi's fucking with my story.

* * *

In the room, half of the inhabitants were trying to be discreet about the fact Komui's face had swelled three times its normal size. Linali stood straight, grim and silent. Allen looked around the room, knowing he wouldn't be able to _stop_ staring once he started.

Kanda and Lavi however, were not in the slightest ashamed to be so obvious. Kanda stared at Komui, one eyebrow arched and mouth frowning, as if Komui _chose_ to look like he'd been thrown from a moving car just to piss him off. Lavi sucked on a lollipop taken from the man's desk and leaned in close over the desk.

He smacked his lips and narrowed his eyes. "You know, those two bumps side by side on your left cheekbone kind of make it look like there's an ass on your face." he inspected it a bit further, then raised his eyebrows and nodded. "A big ass."

Komui decided to ignore the comment. "Allen, I apologize for the havoc created by your arrival, I wonder what that was all about anyway...?"

"Like it wasn't your fault, jackass." Kanda muttered under his breath.

For the second time, Komui decided to stick with the sentiment, 'If you ignore it, it goes away'. At this point he was especially grateful he had no ego to uphold.

"Speaking of faults, did you know that Allen was coming here anyway, Yuu?" Lavi chirped in suddenly. Kanda's knuckled went white, and his mouth had disappeared beneath the purse. "I wonder whose fault that is?" Lavi mused.

"Wha...? Why the FUCK did I have to bring that freak!" Kanda bellowed, sword slamming into the table, slicing through several hundred papers and one half full--now empty--cup of coffee.

"Freak?" Allen perked.

"My coffee!" Komui cried.

"I am not a freak!" Allen countered indignantly, raising his voice higher than he'd have liked it to.

"You are. Just admit it." Kanda stated bluntly.

Allen's fists shook. "I'm not the one going around kidnapping people for no reason!" he retorted.

"How was I supposed to know?!" Kanda asked, infuriated at having this thrown at him. "You should have said something!"

"You could have _asked!_"

"Gents, please," Lavi tried to intervene. "You're both gettin' on the serious jazz for this! What's done is done!"

Allen pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. Kanda did the same, however, he managed to have a vast amount more dignity concerning the pouting. "You couldn't have waited a day to take me here." Allen said quietly.

"No." Kanda said shortly.

Allen ground his teeth harshly. "There are a lot of things I wanted to see in Georgia! The Georgia Dome! The Georgia Guidestones! Martin Luther King Jr. National Historic site! Oakland Cemetery! Margaret Mitchell's Home! APEX Museum! Sambuca Jazz Cafe! World's Largest Peanut Monument! George Washington Carver Museum! Peanut Butter Factories! Peanut farms!"

"Okay! Fuck, we get your peanut obsession, damn." Kanda stepped away from the red-faced white-haired young freak and rubbed his head. If he'd known about these little quirks he _definitely_ would have dropped a small load off of the plane over the Atlantic.

"Not to mention Georgia is the Peach Capital of the _World_--" Allen's smile looked more lethal than comforting at this point.

"You know what, I care _this_ much." Kanda retorted, shoving his middle finger in the air, right before Allen's petite nose.

"That was hardly well-mannered, Kanda." Allen shook his head, chiding his senior. Kanda's head was fit to burst, and this disturbed Lavi somewhat.

Not the vein, Lavi was much too used to that.

But the fact that Lavi had not been the cause of it was slightly disconcerting.

However, the smile was already in place. "Hey sucka! Got no time for the jibba jabba!"

"He's right!" Komui stood, face stern--but looking rather comical due to the two pieces of tissue sticking out from his nose. "Allen, you've been brought here for a special reason."

"To uphold the family honor.(1)" Lavi nodded his head.

Komui opened his mouth to angrily protest, but stopped. His once accusing pointing finger was waved off as Komui nodded his head in agreement. "Of sorts, actually." He removed the tissue from his nostrils and tossed them into the trash beside his desk. Komui looked to Allen, his face with serious sentiments. "You, Allen Walker, are a very special water sprite."

Allen felt his hands clench into fists, and he gulped automatically. 'Special' had never been the word to describe him. 'Monster', 'abomination', 'side show horror', 'freak': these words he knew. But 'special'?

He'd only been called this once.

"Would you give a demonstration?" Komui asked.

Allen blinked. Twice. "Wh--?"

"Don't be shy. We've all been there."

Allen refused to look around him. Yes, he was in the midst of a vampire, a witch, and...Lavi, but to release his powers? To use a weapon for show was not something he was accustomed to. Cocky teenage boys might take out their father's gun to show their friends, happy to receive an 'ooh' and an 'ah' just to be a the center of attention for a few moments, but Allen was very different from a normal teenage boy. Allen knew humility and humiliation well. He didn't want to show them this 'power'. He wanted it to be ignored, he wanted to be judged for something other than what he _had_.

But Allen sucked it up. If he was to remain here in this group, he had to play the game. He would show them his power and put it away. Eventually the shock would wear off, or better yet, maybe he wasn't so 'special' compared to the others.

He let out a long breath, releasing his tension and readying himself. He felt the blood moving in his veins, and he felt his lungs shrink at the loss of oxygen. His heart beat in his palms, and the flow of the world seemed to pulsate with it.

Now.

Hissing was heard and the group looked over to see Komui's phone leak water. Komui picked up the headset and immediately dropped it as a spark flew out from above. The lights began to flicker, water seeping from the ceiling and dripping onto the people below. Kanda almost flinched when the floor beneath him began to move. The rug was becoming soaked, but not from the ceiling.

"Is...is it _melting_?" Lavi asked, full of wonder.

The rug from under them began to fade away into nothing, nothing but water and blood, red swirling a new pattern through the small waves that lapped against their toes.

Allen lifted his fingers and closed his eyes. This was child's play.

The entire room began to turn into a water park and Kanda's eyes shot open as the water began forming around Allen, as if drawn to him. It wasn't the only one. There was a soft light surrounding Allen, as if he didn't quite exist for the moment. He was perhaps an entity visiting, or something greater, something..._un_natural. Kanda felt himself pulled to this force, and inexplicable wanting to reach out and touch the thin wall of water that encircled the young man. It was as if it was only him in the room, watching some sort of natural phenomenon that would break if he didn't capture every second of it.

Then Kanda turned around to see everyone in the Dark Order headquarters behind him.

"Ooh..." they all chorused, in a deep state of awe.

Allen's head whipped around and the water fell like a sheet of glass. His eyes were wide with surprise as he watched everyone stare at him like a circus show. He blushed and quickly fixed his surroundings. Mouths dropped as the water turned back into its normal state. The lights stopped flickering, objects were rectified and even the rug was fixed to its original pattern. However, Kanda looked down and noticed the blood had stuck to its new pattern, and could not be returned to its own previous placement.

"Out, out! Everybody out!" Komui shoved everyone from the room back out into the hallway, confronting with many loud and pushy protests. He slammed the door once everyone was out and leaned against it, sighing.

"You," Komui smiled softly, one hand to his mouth. "Are an entirely new species of kappa."

"New species?" Allen repeated the concept as a question.

"Yup. It's perfectly normal for water sprites to have an affinity with water. It can be as simple as drinking a lot of it, or liking to swim. In fact, there are a lot of humans out there with this ability, but their blood is too thin to really be considered supernatural--lots of humans have supernatural characteristic without being _super_natural. The normal supernatural water sprites have something more along the lines of controlling water. They can move it this way or that way, but nothing too huge that would case a hurricane or a tsunami." Komui stopped and smiled as he saw that the others, even Kanda, were raptly listening to every word. He loved being the boss.

"You, are even further beyond this. You can _create_ water."

Linali murmured something and Lavi shrugged his shoulders. Komui cleared his throat and continued. "That display proves that you can reform the molecules around you into water molecules. The phone, the lights, my favorite rug, were all changed into water. You were even able to change them back."

Kanda became uncomfortable, as there was one question he needed answered, but didn't have the humility to ask.

"So...could Allen change _us_ into water?" Lavi asked, hesitant, but eyes flaming with curiosity.

Kanda held his breath, and scowled in the meantime.

Komui smiled. "Yes."

Kanda's stare whipped back to the young boy before him, as Allen waved his hands defensively.

"But-But I would never--!"

"No, you wouldn't." Komui finished for Allen. "And that is why we must have you here." Allen's heart gave one last lurch before settling down into his chest cavity again. Komui smiled lightly, and Allen wondered just what kind of calculations were going on behind those lenses. Surely they were harboring Allen at a great cost, but for what reason?

A subject change was in order. "By the way, this arrived for you." Komui held out a package to Allen, who hesitantly accepted it.

"Um...is it from--?"

"Yes. And it moves so...be careful." Komui had expected fear, but Allen sighed in relief. For Allen, moving packages weren't to be feared--it was the bill-sized ones with 'URGENT' stamped on them that brought tears. He opened the package carefully, as it was shaking around quite a bit. The second the paper was torn, a bright gold object sprung from its holdings.

A small round object no larger than a baby's fist plummeted through the air and straight into Allen's hair. The immediate chomping that resounded resulted in curious and nervous glances from the other members.

"Timcanpy! Oh Lord, how I missed you!" Allen did his best to cuddle the small object, but as it was still busy making a meal of his hair, it was a tad difficult.

"Is that...is that a snitch?" The confused stares directed towards Linali as she blushed from the attention. "I'm a witch. Of _course_ I read Harry Potter." She tried not to pout, but clicked her heel as an after-statement. At the very least, it might stop them from further teasing.

"Everyone wants to be accepted by the group Linali.(2)" Lavi started seriously. "That doesn't mean you have accept everything the group does."

"Are you saying there's something wrong with Linali?!" Komui burst from behind his desk and flailed forward, trying to grab Lavi and strangle him for insinuating to insult his beloved sibling. Luckily for Lavi, he was far too used to being attacked after speaking and he jumped back at the perfect speed and in the nick of time. Komui fell on his desk with an unflattering 'fump' and lay there for a moment. He stuck his hand under his bely, pulled out a pencil that had been trying to puncture his hip and threw it behind him.

"Just--what the fuck is that?" Kanda asked. Really, it was all just so _loud_.

"It's Timcanpy." Allen answered shortly, hoping his obvious statement would anger the older man. He was not disappointed.

"No duh, asshole! But what _is_ it?!"

Allen sighed, completely put out by Kanda's obnoxious behavior. And he was _always_ this high-strung? "Timcanpy is a recording device created by my teacher, Master Cross."

"Cross? The General?" Linali asked curiously, turning to her brother.

"Holy shit! That guy's a necromancer! He can raise people from the fucking dead!" Lavi blurted out, impressed to see a connection to the infamous man through someone as docile as Allen.

Allen shook his head. "Not so much. He can control souls."

Lavi snorted. "And this is less cool?" he laughed.

Allen sighed. "Timcanpy is a normal electronic device, however, he holds in him a deceased soul." the said object began purring in Allen's hair, snuggling close and seeming to relish on the close contact. "He's as alive as you or me." Allen tickled the small golden thing's 'head' and it made a strange gurgling noise.

"Necromancer, damn." Lavi shook his own head, disbelieving. "You don't hear about them anymore.

"But Lavi," Allen asked, wanting to know once and for all just _who_ this strange person was, and how he seemed to influence the people around him so easily. "Who are you?"

"Me?" Lavi asked, pointing to himself. "You wanna know about little ol' me?"

"Here we go." Kanda muttered under his breath.

"I am--Can I get a drum roll please?" Lavi requested.

Allen heard the familiar clapping of drums and was slightly taken aback when he watched a strange robot in the corner--how had he not noticed this?--do as Lavi asked.

Lavi took in a deep breath and put one hand delicately to his chest. "A human! Omigawd are you shocked? I, for one, am speechless. And so I would like to just thank my father for getting down with my mother, and for them being--" Lavi paused with his lisp and opened his eyes. "Like, normal." he shrugged. Once again he lifted his hand and looked to the ceiling. "Amen, baby Jesus."

"Moron." Kanda scoffed, rolling his eyes and scowling at the door.

"You got that right, crazy man."

"Fuck you, Baracus.(3)"

"And here you're the one with the Bad Attitude.(4)"

"Whatever." Kanda rolled his eyes and his arms fell to his side. He walked to the door, wanting to leave without anything being said.

"Are you getting something to eat?!" Lavi asked, siddlling up to Kanda like a labrador puppy. "Me too! I'm starved!"

"Actually I'm pretty hungry myself." Allen said quietly. Using his powers always worked up a big appetite, and he hadn't eaten since the peanuts--_not_ Georgia peanuts, to Allen's disapproval--on the plane.

"This is a good time to show you the cafeteria then." Linali smiled helpfully. "We'll come with you both."

Kanda would have groaned if it hadn't been beneath him.

-----

"So, this--" Lavi spread out his arms. "Is the cafeteria."

Allen looked around, not quite impressed. It looked like any old cafeteria, complete with elongated tables with attached benches that probably had the typical multicolored gum stuck beneath the surfaces.

Conversations hummed as several groups were spread among the tables, and Allen looked around, finding it strange that probably most of these people were...well, like him. It was an odd feeling, belonging and yet, not.

" 'S'okay," Lavi stuck his hands in his pockets, shrugging. "Doesn't look special, but the food is fantastic."

"Really?" Allen said, doubtful. Lavi gave him the impression he'd eat a hotdog if it fell on the ground, and might even enjoy the aftertaste of dirt.

"It's the best." Linali cut in. "Jerry is a witch, and he always has that special something in his meals. Not that any witch can pull it off, mind you."

Allen nodded his head and headed to the counter.

"Oh, _dah-ling_, what have we here, _mon ami?_(5)" Allen nearly stepped back as a very odd looking man with an apron frillier than Ryan Ross's wardrobe contained batted his eyes at him and stuck his long nose in his face.

"Um, hello."

"Hey-_llo._"

"Frightened." Allen whispered to Lavi.

"We all were." Lavi whispered back.

Kanda rolled his eyes and stepped in front of Allen. "Soba."

"Of course, peaches. But what will der kleinen Schmetterling(6)? Mmm?" The batting continued and Allen was more curious as to how he managed to bat them so fast without getting dizzy than being afraid at this point.

"Um, I'll have everything." The batting stopped. "Please."

"W-_well_!" Jerry lifted himself off the counter and grinned his surprise. "I hope your appetite says more about you than just your eating habits." Allen gagged a bit and Lavi shoved him out of the way.

"Yo Jer," he said, stretching out in a yawn. He tilted his head back and flexed his muscles, taking his time exhaling, making sure to stretch his elbows back while pushing out his chest. He relaxed once more and smiled. "Can I have some chocolate cake please?" Linali discreetly elbowed him and Lavi continued. 'And one for the Miss as well."

"My _pleasure_, querida.(7)" Jerry winked at Lavi, who beamed in return. He turned around to look at Allen, who had _the_ most accusing stare in the world, if not the slightest bit disturbed as well.

"What?" Lavi blinked. Then scoffed. "Trust me, you'll be doing that by the end of the week."

----

Once they had their food in hand (or hands, in Allen's case) they made their way to the middle table, furthest right. Kanda had left them the second he'd gotten his own bowl, so mostly they followed his lead.

Or rather, Lavi continued to stalk him.

Kanda's teeth noticeably began grinding and Allen was a bit hesitant to sit down. He wondered if it made his fangs, sharper or duller.

"Don't be intimidated by Yuu. " Lavi assured Allen. "He was the baddest cat in town...'til I showed up." Lavi wiggled his eyebrows comically but wasn't able to savor the true brilliance of his joke as Kanda shoved him harshly off the table.

"Loser." he scoffed before diligently attending to his soba.

Lavi stared over the top of the table, and though it wasn't visible, Allen could tell Lavi was pouting.

"You might be a cat, but he's a bloody rhinocerous." Allen shook his head.

"Rhinocerous? That's the best you could come up with Beansprout?"

"I could say the same for you Kanda." Kanda growled and Allen smiled. Lavi was

unsure who it would be safer to sit next to. He opted for the third.

"Hey-ya Lina."

Linali sighed.

"So, now that you'll be with us Exorcists--"

"Who said that?" Allen asked, clearly taken by surprise.

"Kinda obvious how everybody's ogling your abilities there Jacque Clousseau.(8)"

"No shit." Kanda added from behind his chopsticks.

"Calm down Dreyfus.(9)" For whatever reason, Kanda ignored his comment. Probably because Lavi was the luckiest bastard on earth, although, that does go back to 'for whatever reason'. "That means Johnny's gonna have to fit you for a uniform."

"Uniform?" Allen was tired of changing words into questions. "I don't remember uniforms."

"Yeah, there's a new design coming out, so all of ours were thrown away, and there's a temporary hiatus on dress code. Plus, we only have to wear them on like, 'special' missions." Lavi shrugged. "Whatever." he stated before digging into his cake.

"But won't that make us more conspicuous? What's the point?"

Lavi shrugged. "Hey, everybody's gotta wear clothes. And if you don't you'll get arrested." he laughed whole-heartedly.

Kanda slowly brought his hand down over his face, the elongation of the action only making his face seem grimmer. "No more fucking Mr T. Got that?"

"I pity the fool that mess with Yuu.(10)"

Allen estimated Lavi's new black eye would go away the same time the ass on Komui's face would.

* * *

A/N: I think Hawaiian is the most relaxing language ever. Long chapter this time. :)

I love Mr T. more than I can say. 8D Lavi said lots of quotes from him, so's ya kno. I swear to my personal Jesus, it is only 9:20 and I am ready to plop. So, now that you know I'm old, let's get into my super-long-unnecessary explanations in the story.

My humor: is non-existent. Using these references in real life will only get you awkward/bewildered stares, so please, use these lines with caution, if you so choose. Lavi is a professional reference-maker, and the author harbors no responsibility to any injuries (yes, there shall be injuries) if anyone chooses to use any of these lines irresponsibly.

Places to visit in Georgia: were shamelessly taken from suggestions off of google sites. Also, George Washington Carver is the be-all and end-all of the world. Period. And that Peanut Statue? I'm getting married there. To George's dead body.

Komui:....I might need help with him. Any suggestions? I don't have time to reread all of DGM again. D:

Other notes: I apologize for Lavi being OOC and being a whore for Jerry thing, but I had a Scrubs flashback and I couldn't help myself. Kanda was shamefully put in the background in this chapter--seems like Lavi's stealing his thunder. Don't worry though, he won't steal our hero. ;)

Footnotes:

1. 'Family Honor': Quote from 'Mulan', the Disney movie.

2. 'Follow the group': Quote from 'Be Somebody...or Somebody's Fool!' by Mr T. HILARious.

3. Baracus: Mr T.'s character from the A-Team. lavi just quoted him, so Kanda's being clever.

4. Bad Attitude: Baracus' name is 'B.A. Baracus', and the B.A. stands for 'Bad Attitude'. Another smart ass moment for Lavi.

5. Mon Ami: french for, 'my friend'.

6. Will der kleinen Schmeterling: German, 'the small butterfly want?' (Thanks ravel queen for correcting my awful German ;D)

7. Querida: Spanish for 'darling' or 'dear'.

8. Jacque Cloussau: from the movie, 'The Pink Panther'. Main character, Inspector Gadget was also modeled after him.

9. Dreyfus: Clousseau's boss, always getting pissed off at Clousseau for being incredibly stupid. He usually winds up in the hospital thanks to Clousseau's mistakes.

10. 'Pity the Fool': Another special quote from Mr T. from the movie Rocky II (I think). Very famous, very hilarious, very Mr T.


	9. Chapter 9

Linali twirled her fork on the plate thoughtfully, gazing at Allen's mountain of plates without horror, much to the opposite of her other two companions. "So hey, you know who's soul is in him?" Linali asked curiously, pointing to Timcanpy.

"Simon Peter(1)."

Lavi blinked. "The prophet?"

"I dunno." Allen shrugged. "Or someone else named 'Simon Peter'."

"Why Timcanpy?" Linali asked then. "I mean, if you know his real name."

It was Allen's turn to blink from surprise. "It's cuter?" Lavi and Kanda noticeably deflated.

"And here I thought he was going to say something modest and cool like, 'And be the second Jesus Christ? Please: beards do not become me'." Lavi muttered.

"Like the pube could grow a beard." Allen glared, while Lavi hid a chuckle.

"I don't really _appreciate_ that." Allen said, voice firmly offended.

"I don't really appreciate you taking up my air, but hey, sacrifices for the greater good." Kanda pulled out Mugen a bit and Allen didn't miss the glimmer that sparked in Kanda's eyes. "Or am I mistaken?"

"G-greater good, greater good." Allen waved his hands a bit too frantically and Kanda backed down, pleased to see he still had that Midas Touch.

Lavi cleared his throat, and once again became the center of attention. "So, Allen, _mein Schatzie(2)_, do you have any questions?"

"Questions?"

"19 left dumbass." Kanda rolled his eyes and sipped his tea.

Allen frowned, but the comment went ignored. "Well yes, but as of now I'm a bit overwhelmed."

"No trouble no trouble, just know that Emmet Brown is right here waiting for you, when it gets too heavy(3)."

"Thanks Lavi."

"Please, call me 'Genius'."

"Motherfucker." Kanda said while slurping in a noodle. Allen was reluctantly impressed that not a drop of soup splattered while he did that.

"Must you be so coarse?" Allen said, perfectly serious.

"Must you _be_?" he retorted, not feeling particularly creative at the moment to come up with something catchier. While Kanda was used to Lavi's antics, Allen was a whole new ballpark in that he actually seemed to _care_ when Kanda said something hurtful. Whatever the fuck that meant.

"I just thought of a question: how is it you stand him?" Allen jabbed his gloved finger in Kanda's direction, and the man growled. He did not like being put on display, for whatever reason.

"That's cause I am a Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak(4) when I'm with Yuu." Lavi smiled devilishly.

"God_damn_ you and your Macy Gray references!" Kanda shouted bringing down his sword at the speed of light and slicing the table (barely missing Lavi) in half.

"I Try."

Allen tried not to smile, but Linali laughed. Allen looked at her once more, and shook his head as the light around her seemed to shimmer. Her eyes were half-closed in amusement as her shoulders bounced lightly.

Lavi grinned wryly.

"Another admirer?" he asked. Linali stopped laughing immediately. Allen turned his head and saw the gaze was directed at him.

"B-beg pardon?"

"Henry's under your spell, Miss Boleyn.(5)" Linali sighed, eyelashes fluttering and mouth formed into a thin line.

"Have I missed something?" Allen asked, nervously gripping the edge of the table.

"You see, it happens to everyone. Miss Blee here--(6)" Linali's head shot up and she pinched Lavi in the arm. He laughed it off and rubbed his arm, continuing. "Miss _Lee_ here, is a witch."

"Yes, I know." Allen nodded in affirmation.

"But do you know what witches are capable of?" Lavi raised his eyebrows, sipping at his water expectantly. He knew Allen's answer was was merely waiting for the word so he could launch into his lovely speech of explanation.

"N..." Allen looked at Linali, who looked rather uncomfortable with the whole thing. "No." he said softly.

Lavi smirked, placing his water on the table and making sure a nice ring of water was left to stain the table. "She's a witch, Little Tich(7), with them Big Boots. Ain't no glitch when she pitch a bewitchin' itchin' twitch that makes you hitch, bitch!"

"That wasn't slightly forced." Kanda rolled his eyes.

"It takes work my friend, and it ain't easy. It's not all sunshine and rainbows."

"Like your sex life."

"Did you just imply I get tail?"

"I just implied you're gay."

"_Please,_" Linali put out her hands to stop them both. "Can I explain for myself?"

Kanda went back to his meal and Lavi nodded, "Ladies first."

"Thank you." she said, if a bit dryly. She sighed, then took in a deep breath. "It's the common sense card: Witches have the power to bewitch."

"Eh?" Allen asked.

"It's _not_ intentional--" she quickly darted her eyes around the table. Kanda was thoroughly ignoring the situation, but Lavi looked all too pleased. She frowned. "But every witch has some sort of ability to--"

"--Hex--" Lavi interrupted, grinning like a fool.

"--Entrance, another human being."

Allen blinked. "How so?"

"Well for instance, do I seem normal to you?" Linali's eyebrows cluttered together and yet her forehead still seemed completely smooth of wrinkles. "Completely?" he looked closer, and a small look of fear flickered across her eyes. She knew his answer, and Allen wasn't cruel enough to lie.

"No."

"Exactly." she sighed again shoulders reclusing closer to her delicate body and head drooping towards the table. "It's my ability to be able to..."

"Captivate, capture, spellbind, enamor, fascinate, enchant, _possess_..." Lavi smiled again, holding his glass of water as though it were liquid gold before him. "Did I miss anything?" Linali took a deep breath and stood. Her eyes were closed as she walked away from the table, and Allen still couldn't shake off the feeling she was floating out of the room.

"Che, jackass." Kanda stood and exited the room as well. Allen watched him go and wondered if maybe he should follow suit, as it seemed Lavi had done something terribly wrong. Lavi's face had a particular glow as the light reflected through the glass, casting a strange shadow across half of the other young man's face. An enigma covered his expression, maybe happiness and disgust combined onto the features gracing Lavi's skin. It seemed to shiver and radiate, and Allen wondered if Lavi really was what he claimed to be.

"Charming, of course." Lavi said to no one in particular. "How could I have missed that?"

-----

Lavi didn't feel bad for lying to Allen.

Or technically speaking, he hadn't even lied.

The point was, Lavi, despite being the friendly and jovial person he was, didn't actually know Allen, and so didn't really feel the need to tell him so much about him.

His existence was fine as 'Lavi'.

Lavi spun a book on the bottom of its spine and smiled as it fell down, making an obnoxious clapping noise that made several people around him jump in the air, eyes wide. Those eyes shortly narrowed before disappearing beneath their books, and Lavi snorted. He could hardly help himself.

Allen was a cool kid. Lavi liked him loads, but there was something about him that made the hair on the back of Lavi's neck rise, and so the kid wasn't going to find out anything about him until he figured out who the hell Allen Walker really was.

He knew it wasn't fair, wanting to know everything before disclosing information to others, but that was the way the real world worked. It wasn't about sharing feelings and hoping to be accepted, it was about hoarding what you have and dishing it out to those you gave a shit for, and at the last minute at that.

It came down to survival.

Lavi leaned back in his seat, relishing in the awful creaking noise that emanated from the spine. He watched as a man in the corner shivered every time the squeak was heard, and it was all Lavi could do not to laugh.

Lavi flipped through the pages of the book he was currently holding. He ripped out a page from the middle and began folding it into a paper airplane. He grinned as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth in concentration.

It was about discretion. It wasn't anything _personal_, it was merely Lavi looking out for himself in the big, bad world. People were assholes, like Kanda, but worse in the fact they tried to pose as good citizens. Lavi adored Kanda as much as he hated him. He was the perfect example of a human being and yet was so far above them it was hardly logical. Kanda, Lavi got--because he was so fucking _honest_ it was a joke and a blessing all at once. But Lavi didn't know Allen.

A boy, a _baby_, and this kid had the powers of fucking Moses. And yet, that hardly mattered. What Lavi wanted to know was this: what was Allen's purpose?

This went beyond existence as 'supernatural' or 'human', and was so far out of the league of 'who am I?' Lavi scoffed at the thought of it.

He creased the sides of the paper with his fingernail and switched to his finger, liking the burn that was felt along his skin.

Lavi meant existence in the terms of purpose. He meant it in the terms of evolution. Supernatural beings, most of them were hardly above human levels. They ate, slept, had sex and that was cool for them. No one wanted to _evolve_ anymore, nobody cared who they were as long as they were happy.

What was happiness, if you didn't even know yourself? How could you tell what made you happy if you don't really know what you stood for, what your logic decided?

Lavi hummed a rhythmless tune and began writing notes along the inside of the paper. He chose red ink, because it stood out to him, like his hair in the morning.

He flew the plane through the air and closed his eyes, not caring where it landed.

What was the point of living, if you weren't fucking _better_ than everybody else?

-----

Linali was a friendly girl.

She was nice.

She was not kind.

Linali had been born and raised to speak the English language, much to her chagrin. The subtle differences in words were ridiculous, such as 'something' and 'anything', and why didn't 'tomb' and 'comb' rhyme? There were thousands of things to complain about--exceptions, exceptions, exceptions--but Linali stopped caring when it didn't apply to her.

'Nice' and 'kind' were both words she heard to describe her character, and it was only the first she would agree with.

Linali did things for other people. She smiled and helped and remembered, all for other people. This was nice.

_They_ called her kind.

'Kind' implied she did this for the sake of others. 'Kind' implied she liked what she was doing, and did it from the depths of her heart, to make the world a better place, or at least to see one person in this desolate, troubled generation smile.

Bullshit.

Linali poured coffee, she decorated rooms for the holidays, and bought presents, but none of this she did for others. She didn't do it for herself either, but that's not the point. Linali was a good girl under the worst pretenses and didn't care enough to grow the heart she appeared to show. It's not as though she only poured coffee because it took up her time, decorated the rooms because there was nothing better to do, nor bought presents for the hell of it.

She did not do these things to keep under the radar, she did not do these things for protection.

_Poor little Linali, is someone being mean to you? We'll make you feel better, we'll coddle you and rub your belly and make everything bad go away._

_We'll shower you with affection, we'll hold you, take care of you like you've done to us, we'll--_

This would never be the case for the things she most needed comfort for, and so they were also not the reasons she did things.

Linali was a weak, defenseless little girl and she knew it. She covered up her flaws with graceful courtesy. At the very least, if she were weak, she was also 'nice'. 'Kind' demeaned her. It told her everything she was already:

Push-over.

Assuming.

Sacrificial.

Pitiful.

Linali drove herself into a social corner, making sure to take up every second of her time providing assistance for someone else. She needed to sort, plan, concoct, create, build, cherish and hope for everyone in the building, so that she herself would never need. She would be needed, and this was her goal.

_They_ would be the weak ones. _They_ would be the push-overs to whatever she advised, they would assume she had the time and patience to help them, they would sacrifice themselves--mind and spirituality--for the sake of what she had said, what she decreed.

_They_ would be the pitiful ones.

Linali smiled on cue as she entered the Science Lab and began distributing the coffee. Strong, stronger and strongest going respectively in highest ranking order. She handed them out with a pat on the hand and a knowing nod of the terrible overtime they had to do every night.

Linali was nice.

Linali was not kind.

But most of all, Linali was not a friend.

Allen Walker walked by the lab, smiling and waving at Linali thoughtfully, pointing down and mouthing something about 'Food, later?'. She nodded and he left looking cheerful.

Gods did not have friends.

* * *

A/N: So I know you guys are like, "WTF?" with Lavi and Linali.

Lavi will have his 'persona'. He will start out having his distaste of humans, and people in general. As we go along however, there will be changes. Let me note here that though this will also be eventually Lavi/Linali, they will not be the ones who change each other. Allen is the hero, he will have the honors.

Linali: I GAVE HER A GOD COMPLEX. XDDDD I am so happy how this is turning out. She's GREAT, I love her. I still have yet to really explain the whole incident with her and Fou. It's nothing particularly major, more just realization on Fou's part, but now I think you'll understand in Chapter five, Fou's small excerpt. If not, feel free to as any questions, honestly.

I fucking _love_ messing with people.

And here's a small rant, for those of you wondering _why_ Lavi is messing things up: Well, originally I wanted this to be a bit dark. I wanted an ironic humor clashing with apathy and a generally 'hopeless against fate' kind of theme, but once Lavi came in chaos ensued. He started giving off a lighter more feathered feel, which is ruining everything for me. I mean, read chapter 1 and then read chapter 8, there's a huge difference, which is Lavi's fault (shut up and give me my scapegoat D:). However, I'm now warping the characters, and wanted to let you know everything should go according to plan now. :)

But okay, I have to stick this in here: WHY aren't there five hundred thousand fanfics for Eyeshield 21????? I mean really, it's FOOTBALL. AMERICAN FOOTBALL. GUYS in TIGHT PANTS running around TACKLING each other to get a BALL. And the best part? The do this to SCORE _TOUCH-_**downs.**

Am I the only one seeing this?

Footnotes:

1. Simon Peter: Jesus's numero uno disciple (in my opinion at least). This is mostly my lame humor, in that I consider Allen Jesus-esque.

2. Mein Schatzie: German, 'my treasure', or , 'my dear', along these lines.

3. Emmett Brown from 'Back to the Future' is a scientist, and a genius that invents time travel. And the word 'heavy' is associated with his young lackey/friend/main protagonist Marty McFly, who always says this when things get bad.

4. Sex-O-Matic: Best song EVER. Macy Gray makes me smile. :D (And yet another lame play on Kanda's name.)

5. Anne Boleyn and Henry: Henry VII King of England known for changing the Church of England to Protestantism, and his second wife Anne Boleyn, accused of being a witch, was Henry's second wife. He had six, and three were beheaded. Lavi uses this reference not to judge Allen's character, mostly to say Allen is british and has 'fallen in love', so Anne is a good counter-ref.

6. 'Miss Blee': Play on Linali's name. Tammy Blee is a famous witch from England.

7. Little Tich: Old comedic performer. He was a midget with a Big Boot Act. Can you see the puns? (Allen's short and Linali has the Boots ;D)


	10. Chapter 10

A special thanks to Kurokai Kuro for being coolness personified. This chapter is dedicated to Pin Needle, for the mere mention of the cretaceous period, and because she is the coolest person ever. Yeah, even cooler than David Bowie. (OH NO SHE DI'N'T! OH NO SHE DI'N'T!--)

* * *

_The red wine burned his throat, creating a warmth completely unnatural and splendid in all its capability. Cold nights and warm wine seemed to fit perfectly. Warm wine the color of blood gave him a strange joy, that something so dark could give such a light elation, like drinking a touch of Heaven._

_"I think it's time you leave the nest." he looked down into his glass and admired the way he could see his own reflection in the liquid, his hair just a tad brighter than the color._

_"Master?"_

_He looked across the room, frowning as he did so. How like his stupid pupil to turn anything into a question. _

_And stupid ones at that._

_"I coddle you too much." he threw the nearest object at the young boy, who in turn shrieked something the man didn't care to listen to and then grumbled about something equally as unimportant._

_He crossed his legs and tilted his head to the side, allowing the wine to settle in properly and make use of blurring all the objects around him. He didn't like sharp things, he preferred curves, like the hips of a woman, and things just a tad duller than he._

_Much like the boy kneeling before him, rubbing his head for whatever reason._

_Oh right, the hammer._

_"I don't care where you go, but it's time you took care of yourself after all these years." The young boy clenched his teeth angrily._

_"I _was _living on my own before you snatched me up! I'm perfectly capable of--!"_

_The man swished the liquid in the glass and sighed, hardly bothering to pay attention while the bright eyed boy continued to flap his mouth up and down, shouting his grievances--which were all random and irrelevant, according to the man with the glass--and doing his best to successfully annoy his master._

_Another object to the head, and he was immediately silenced._

_"So, get out of here." the man said, taking one last glance at the confused boy before returning to gaze out the window._

_"N-now?"_

_"Idiot apprentice." the man scowled and took a drink too large to really appreciate the taste. The things this boy caused him to do. He uncrossed his legs only to recross them with the left over his right. "Just stay away from the Dark Order."_

_"Dark...? But aren't they good? Don't they help...people like us?"_

_The man nearly laughed aloud when the boy muttered the word 'people'. That was hardly relevant to their existences._

_"Boy, what do you know of good? Have you seen it, experienced it?" his young protégé looked down, eyes flaming but lips tightly locked. The man frowned as he knew where the boy's train of thought was headed._

_He managed a sigh._

_"I despise those bastards." he emptied the glass of its contents and lightly placed it on the table beside him. He stood and the boy looked up even higher from his kneeling position. "Do what you will."_

_He focused on the sound of his boots thudding against the floor, like a steady rhythm of a Hatian drum. The small utterances of confusion coming from his disciple--_ex_-disciple--were already fuzzed thanks to the Italian wine he'd crossed three seas and four dead bodies to get._

_He walked out of the room, and would never admit he looked back once, just to see if those silver eyes were still looking at him._

_They weren't._

_----_

"Congratulations Red Coat(1)! Today's initiation day!" Lavi blew on a hot pink kazoo and waved his arms around happily. Allen looked about his room, wondering when Lavi had had the time to decorate it so...thoroughly.

Streamers hung about the walls in bright colors of red, yellow, green, and orange and balloons were everywhere, bouncing along the carpet irritatingly, as if they were feet on hot coals. Allen discreetly looked to see if there was any food, but when instead he saw in exceedingly pissed off Kanda, he stopped, assessed, and spoke.

"What?"

"Jesus Christ--"

"My Lord and Savior!" Lavi finished, continuing to blow on his kazoo. Kanda came up and quite violently ripped it from Lavi's hands, smashing it in his fist and chucking it across the room, which so happened to be Allen's stomach.

"Ow! Bloody hell, that hurt!" He rubbed his stomach and immediately a growl came about. "Well, I have no idea what this initiation is, but can we go for some breakfast?" Lavi widened his eyes, appeared to have an intelligent thought, and then shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure."

"Wonderful. I'll get my jacket."

"Goddammit why am I here?" Kanda said angrily, arms folded across his chest in a haughty manner that would have made anyone else seem as though they were pouting, but for this man, vampire, thing, it only scared Allen to hurry.

"But Yuu it was your idea?"

"Shut the fuck up."

Allen paused in getting dressed and looked at Kanda. _This_ had been _his_ idea?

"It's not what you're thinking you moron." he growled.

"Oh? You can read my mind? Then please by all means leave ahead of us and order my meal would you?"

"Asshole I oughtta--"

"LET'S be FRIENDS!(2)" Lavi shot a small gun from his side and out popped a handful of confetti, merely plopping on the floor pathetically. Lavi took a minute to inspect his new toy, jiggling it this way and tapping it that, while Kanda's face grew to be a lovely shade of red.

Crimson, perhaps? Allen speculated. He hopped into his pants quickly while Lavi and Kanda were busy arguing. Allen snorted as he saw Lavi say a smart remark and Kanda immediately sissy-slapped the toy gun from Lavi's hand. Lavi looked dramatically hurt, but Allen's zipper made them both look up, and Allen smiled.

"Shall we?" he queried.

Lavi smiled, "Let's--"

"Shut your fucking hole." Kanda finished, exited rather quickly and leaving Allen and Lavi to trail on his heels.

-----

Allen mentally jotted down everything he wanted to eat that morning on the way to the cafeteria. In all honesty he really wanted some chocolate cake, but he wasn't quite ready to take that step into degradation, and so he figured an extra serving of apple sauce would have to do. He walked alongside Lavi with Kanda always a few steps ahead.

Sometimes, Allen noticed, Kanda would occasionally look back at the two of them discreetly. Allen was as of yet unsure whether he wanted to know what was going on, or perhaps it was all out of annoyance.

"Damn. I look so good today I want to masturbate." Lavi said as he passed a mirror. Allen sighed, knowing the truth to his previous question.

"Asshole." Kanda scoffed, frowning angrily.

"What's wrong? Are you upset that I get myself hot?" Lavi opened his eyes innocently, but the small quirk of his lips told Allen trouble was coming. "Are you upset that it's not--" Lavi paused, putting a finger to his lips as his eyes grew wide. "Yuu?"

Kanda paused in his anger. He wasn't sure whether he should be more mad at the connotation he wanted to make Lavi hot at the thought of him, or the possibility Lavi was using his personal name.

It was times like these Kanda hated the English language.

"I don't want anybody else." Lavi snapped his fingers and did the One-Two step as Allen braced himself for Kanda's impending attack. "When I think about Yuu I touch myself!"

As expected Kanda rushed forward, sword in hand and teeth gnashing like a banshee. Instinctively, Lavi grabbed the person beside him and threw him forward, in his own defense and self-preservation. Normally Johnny was standing beside Lavi, for reasons 'unknown', but today Johnny was missing, and it was Allen that found himself trapped between Life and Death.

He would have screamed in fear, if it hadn't ironically already been scared out of him.

"Hey!"

Kanda stopped immediately, every muscle freezing with an unnatural level of control as the voice sounded. Allen looked up to see Linali, smiling sweetly at the three.

"H-h-hi," Allen said shakily, still slightly traumatized from the sheer menace in Kanda's eyes.

"Shall we get going?" She asked. "We need to get you started pronto." She waved a clipboard in the direction behind her and stood sideways, heels already on the move backwards.

"Can it wait until breakfast?" Allen asked pitifully.

Linali shrugged regretfully. "Sorry, but we're already behind schedule."

"And what exactly--"

"Come on you heard the lady! Let's get cracking Pop!" Lavi grabbed Allen's shoulder, and then Kanda's. "Snap."

"_Suck _on _lye_, asshole!"

"Rightfully named." Lavi said, ducking as a fist of lightening speed came full gusto at his jaw.

"Shall we?" sighed Allen.

"Yes, let's--"

"Leaving!" Linali called several steps ahead, while Kanda moved to take the lead.

-----

As Allen mourned the loss of his breakfast, and as his stomach made sure to give him hell just in case he wasn't feeling bad enough, he tried to take his mind off of things by asking Lavi lots of questions.

Lavi never really walked in a straight line when he spoke--which was constantly--and Allen shivered a bit when he saw Lavi get a bit too close to Kanda for comfort. He could nearly see the hackles on the back of the vampire's neck rise. Allen had actually lost track of most of the questions he'd asked, mostly because Lavi would answer them in long drawn out explanations that always led back to some subject of World War II and its impact on the german mentality, or Speedracer.

"Now wait, Komui said that lots of humans have supernatural abilities without being supernatural, how is this?" Allen questioned to Lavi in between one of the very few breathes the young man seemed to take. Lavi jumped right to the plate, as expected.

"Simple," Lavi shrugged. "They have the instincts of the blood in their veins. Those of werewolf blood might like dogs a lot, those that have witch blood could be really curious about cooking or chemistry, something involving mixing and potions. Those of vampire blood usually have an intense bloodlust."

Allen gulped, not so discreetly shifting his gaze to the long ponytail swaying in front of him. "Like, murderers?"

Lavi nodded. "Yeah, or Gamers." his eyes brightened. "Speaking of, there's this dude here that has the entire Final Fantasy collection. Straight up, no joke."

Allen wrinkled his nose. "I've never had an interest in video games."

"Bullshit, everyone has a special game." Lavi waved it off and then returned his hand to his pocket. Just as it was comfortably set into the lining of his jeans, he whipped it out a gain and made more wild circular motions. Allen was calmed and made queasy by Lavi at times. "Lemme guess, you probably have a soft spot for Mario Kart, or Brothers Brawl, _everyone_ likes Brothers Brawl. Even Ginny."

"I don't have red hair." Linali frowned, falling back to swap Lavi over the head with her clipboard, a habit developed initially during the summer, when the air conditioning always broke and the flies from the forest began hovering closer than detention slips to delinquents.

Allen ignored Lavi, and changed the subject. "So what is this initiation?"

"Nothing special." Lavi smiled. "But Yuu, y'oughtta get ready, gehl(3)?"

"Verpiss dich(4)."

Lavi stopped in his tracks and looked sallowly to the ground, "It hurts. Every time."

Kanda growled and turned out of sight. Allen's eyes lingered a tad longer on Kanda's form than Lavi's staged one, but shook it off the moment Linali sighed, relieved.

"We're here!" she smiled and held out her arm before the door. It was wide, wide enough it would have been comical had there actually been a door there. There wasn't however, although Allen did curiously notice the hooks on the side of the door and splinters of wood surrounding the frame.

But as his interest lay more in people and not architecture, his eyes were immediately turned to the man in the center of the room.

Allen froze, lips turning blue and complexion paling.

The room was a nice size, if you felt at home in small college dorms meant to house several people all smelling, breathing and smoking the same things, natural and unnatural they may be. Several people hovered around the television, some wearing white lab coats and other appeared to be some kind of security guards, with striped uniforms and what Allen thought must be some sort of weapon attached to their hips. One in particular caught his notice, a normal looking blonde young man holding a mug. HIs hands were shaking nearly violently and his eyes had large purple circles under them as though he hadn't slept in a long time. He was quite thin, and while it was nothing to be concerned about, it did not help Allen's impression of the man.

"_Zombie?_" he whispered.

"J-j-j-j-j-j-jerk." Said the blonde man, flicking his gaze from the TV to the young sprite, to the TV again. "H-h-helll-lo Li-Li-Li-Li--"

"Hello Bak, how's it going? You alright on coffee?" She smiled sweetly.

Allen wondered if the small red dots that began to surface on the face of the man were in his mind.

"I-I-I think I'm g-good for now, th-th-thhhhhanks." He smiled nervously and took a large gulp, staring back at the television, then blushing profusely.

"This here's Bak Chan, head of Useless Management." Lavi introduced.

"G-g-go blow a con-con-con--"

"--Tract?" Lavi censored with a smile.

"Sh-sh-sh-sh--"

"Sure is great to see you too, Bak." Lavi walked up, still taller than Allen, even as he slouched. He latched his arm around Allen's neck, dragging him along, and then pointed a finger casually from one to the other. "Bak, Allen here needs to fill out some paperwork. New guy, all that jazz."

"T-tell me something I d-don't know." Bak gave Allen a small smirk as he raised his coffee cup. "You got some skills kid."

Allen tensed. "Thanks."

"Okay, so he needs a FTW form, D8IDK with the red WTH and blue and green TTYL, and the LMAO processing form." Bak recited, hardly taking a moment to think.

"Right on it." Linali moved passed them to the desk in the corner of the cluttered room and got to work, bending this way and that, shuffling through papers with ease, and not even a paper cut to show for the work.

Lavi and Bak however, were engrossed in something entirely different. Although if Allen had to guess, the latter was forcing his attention for other reasons, if the red dots gave any indication.

"Is it me or is Little Foot totally gay for Pietre(5)?" Lavi tilted his hips and gave the television a speculative glare.

"What? Isn't Pietre the gay one?" Bak Chan asked between sips of his coffee. His hands were shaking badly, and if Allen had to guess, it was probably his 6 or 7th coffee of the morning.

"You'd think so but nah, he's so skittish he _must_ be straight." Lavi tilted his weight to his other hip and folded his arms across his chest. His mouth puckered into a straight line.

"You have a point." Bak shrugged his shoulders, spilling a bit of his coffee. Ironically, he seemed too wired to have been able to pay attention to the cause of his now rather embarrassedly stained pants.

Lavi turned from the screen to the young man. "But speaking of dinosaurs, what ever happened to Gullah Gullah Island(6)? Wasn't it rated in the top four the year it quit?"

Bak scoffed into his coffee, causing it to spray a bit and shower over the sleeping scientist in front of him. "You asshole, Binyah Binyah is a polliwog, _not_ a dinosaur."

"Why do you care so much?" Lavi asked, barely an eyebrow raised to remark his monotonic curiosity.

"Gullah Gullah Island is the epic of epic concerning Jamaican-American TV." the manager replied.

"Jamaican-American? Seriously? Those kids are totally creoles, they can't be darker than your latte foam."

"Once again, you have a point." Bak drained his coffee as Lavi turned his eyes back to the screen.

"Here here."

"Here." Linali dropped a significant amount of paperwork in Allen's unsuspecting hands, cheerful as any early bird. "These should be filled out as quick as you can manage--"

"All of this?! There's no way I can--!"

"Kanda's waiting." A warning flashed across her face as she leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You don't want to keep him waiting."

Allen sighed, slumping down on the arm of the couch, staring down at the paperwork with a face as long as the potential signature list.

"Well, let's not keep him waiting." Allen smiled weakly. "You have a pen on you?"

* * *

A/N: LOL, excuse me while Pin Needle kills me. XD But it's what she gets for terrorizing the wolves (she knows what I'm talkin' 'bout Oo;)

Okay, so I've gotten a review regarding the rating of this story. To be blunt:

I DO NOT WRITE PORN.

It's not even a matter of 'do I want to' it's 'I _cannot_ write porn'. I would epically suck. This rating is for violence, psychological warfare, language and adult themes (meaning though there will be gay sex going on, I will not write out the lovely details). I prefer to think of myself as a tame Charlie Kaufman (chyasure). Or rather, more of a Bryan Fuller (ohmagawdiwish), with some Amy-Sherman Palladino mixed in (again, iwish).

So if you were looking for porn, I'm sorry, but I cannot deliver. I can recommend Amythyst Amore's Latent Heat (my thighs, they tingle) and anything written by KISproductions (Like I could ever measure up to _her_ concerning this area. Mrs. Divva Pup is a Yoda, I assure you).

However, I hope that the majority of you will stick with me. I cannot tell you how much it means to me, the readers that read this not only for sex but for other reasons, such as: you actually think it's good. My heart swells, I won't lie. You make me all really happy. :) As for--

Cross: We'll hear why he wanted Allen gone so fast from his sight later. MUCH later....once I figure it out, basically. :D

Oh and** IMPORTANT**: I **will not be updating** at all between the 19th of May to the 2nd of July. I will be busy riding through this epic continent harder than a vaquero's prized horse. Or something. :D Wish me good luck, and to not get robbed. D:

Footnotes:

1. Red Coats: Term we Americans used against the British during that old Revolutionary War. Could've been worse. He could have called him a Lobster back. D:

2. Let's be friends gun: Totally took this from The Kids Next Door. That show tanked, but that one episode had me rolling on the floor.

3. 'Gehl': German dialect in the South. Korrekt Mann ja? XD

4. 'Verpiss dich': Let me note that I DO NOT approve of bad language, nor do I encourage it. I just think German swear words sound way superior to anything else in the world. They're so badass. :D Um, this is something to the equivalent of 'fuck off'. I learned it the hard way. D:

5. Pietre and Little Foot: From the movie, The Land Before Time. SPIKE. That's all.

6. Gullah Gullah Island: If you missed out on this show, you missed out on a most excellent childhood.


	11. Chapter 11

The blades of grass were silent as they bowed before the rubber arches of Kanda's boots, and this made his forehead a bit more relaxed. There was nothing worse than hearing the tiny crunching of grass leaves against your shoes, vibrating up and brushing against his ankles; that sick feeling of being caressed by nature that had Kanda wanting to burn all of the trees in the Thuringen Forest.

As much as he was looking forward to crushing the brat in a matter of minutes, he still had an irritating feeling groping around inside his chest. His eyes narrowed in a sense of foreboding and sincerely cursed the night that was to come. He _knew _ this feeling, and it wasn't something he would enjoy.

The grass waved in the wind but quieted as Kanda came along, stopping their dance cold and putting them in their place--under his boot.

"Che," he said quietly to himself, his own personal savior in one monosyllable. The matter wasn't important for now. He would deal with it when it became an issue, but for the time being, Kanda has other matters to tend to.

A slight simper came across his mouth before being instantly removed.

What he was doing now was his job and his duty as a member of the Black Order. It was his life's mission to follow orders and stick to the mold, follow the path obediently and perfectly. Anything less than perfect and he would consider himself and his mission a failure and give proper compensation after the fact. However it would be 100% perfect, because Kanda intended to be professional about the matter.

But that didn't mean he wouldn't take a little pleasure in it.

Nature around him seemed to buzz and then halt as he passed, making way for the crazy man with the sword and the ego. Nature watched him go, and wondered just what the hell they had in their mist.

-----

Allen pumped his right hand, trying to get even a semblance of feeling once more after signing God-knew how many papers.

"So what exactly are you planning?"

"Me? Plan something?" Lavi squeaked. "As if. Forethought is _so_ not my style."

"That would imply he had a brain." Linali said, quite serious as she looked over Allen's paper, marking here and there some notes neither of them cared enough to question. As long as Allen was finished signing, he stopped caring.

Lavi was about to counteract with some long and unneeded explanation as to why his brain worked the way it did and just what the benefit was to the entire human race, when Allen cut him off.

"Well, what's going on then?"

"Training." Linali responded before highlighting something. Lavi's grin wasn't lost on Allen, but he chose not to inquire further. To be ignorant was bliss, he thought glumly.

They made their way out of the back door to the large field encompassing the Headquarters. Lavi whistled a familiar tune and Linali was busy with the papers, biting her lip and muttering to herself about bureaucratic tendencies to 'overdo it'. Allen was content to mosey along and take notice of the fabulous foliage covering the building and the bright blue sky that was set up over the green trees. It looked to Allen the high building was piercing through the clouds and into the massive sky, and he couldn't help but smile as the forbiddance of the building was now lost to him. On the contrary, it seemed to be a symbol of hope.

"And, _surprise!_" Lavi held out his arm as Allen snapped back to reality. Before him was an empty space, completely devoid of any trees or greenery, only covered with a brown dirt and tan-colored gravel. On the other side of this large expanse sat Kanda on his motorcycle.

Allen raised his eyebrows as they headed over, now within shouting distance. "I don't get it. What's going on? Are we going somewhere? But I only just arrived."

Lavi laughed. "'Arrived'. That's so foreign." he clapped his hands and sped up to reach Kanda.

"Training." Linali repeated from before, still not looking up from the papers. Astonishingly, she appeared to be halfway through the process of sorting. "Kanda will be training with you."

"I don't think so." Kanda scoffed, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms, staring at Allen with unhidden malice.

Linali rolled her eyes and stopped her pen. "Fine. Kanda will be training _you_. Forget the 'with'."

"So then, what is this training?" Allen queried. "And why the motorcycle."

"Well first we have to see your capabilities as a supernatural." Linali answered.

"I thought we already did that."

"Not quite. We know you're a water sprite, but we need to know your physical capabilities as well, to put you on missions and the like. Determine your ranking. Whatever." She took out a small folder from the back of her clipboard and moved it the front of a second clipboard. "Especially since we know you came from Marian Cross."

Allen frowned. "What's he have to do with this?"

Linali gave him a look. "You mean to tell me he took you as his apprentice and never once have you had the need to bail yourself out of some kind of fist fight?"

"Touche." Allen grimaced, halting the flood of memories.

"God that must've been cool." Lavi commented from behind, fiddling with the motorcycle.

"Stop touching that." Kanda slapped his hands and Lavi almost frowned.

"Just checking her out, man."

Allen grabbed onto the Lavi's shoulder and the redhead in turn looked up to see a very different face than the normal smiling gentleman the boy appeared to be.

"_Don't ever refer to what that man does as 'cool'."_

Lavi swallowed and tried removing his shoulder from Allen's very harsh grip. "Okay man. He's a beast, a very uncool and untamed beast."

The tense atmosphere dropped along with Linali's huge first clipboard.

"Okay, let's get started." She smiled. Checking off one item on her list, she said, "Endurance. Allen, get ready."

"For what?" he asked, a bit exasperated at being told nothing until right before the moment occurred.

"Get ready to run." she said. The engine of the motorcycle revved behind Allen and Lavi jumped out of the way as Kanda pumped the handles. Allen's ponytail flew in his face from the air travel and he turned slowly to face the culprit.

"You _must_ be joking."

"Do I look like a fool?" Kanda shouted over the roar of the engine. A wicked smile broke out across his face. "Go!" Kanda took off on the vehicle and Allen barely caught his breath before slamming on his own inner accelerating and gunning forward immediately.

Air stung his face and tears flew down his cheeks as his speed reached an all-time high.

"Go Allen!" Linali cheered, pleased he'd made it to the other side of the lot--intact and continuing to run around the perimeter.

"Run with those skinny little arms!" Lavi hollered.

Allen would have to wait until 'training' was over before kicking Lavi in a place where it would definitely hurt.

"What if I _DIE_?!" He shouted to anyone willing to give him hope. Unfortunately, it was quite the coincidence that Kanda suddenly revved the engine once more and picked up speed.

"Didn't catch that!" he shouted.

"You cheat!" Allen accused, still running for what he truly believed to be his life. He was making his third way around the perimeter when Kanda really started catching up on him at 60 miles an hour. Allen gasped out his final breaths and dove for the middle, deciding to maneuver in places Kanda surely couldn't without disrupting the balance of the bike. He darted to the center, hopped back and ran in the opposite direction, wondering just how crazy he was as he began to charge the crazy man on the doom-mobile.

"Fucker's gone nuts!" Lavi grasped Linali and held her close in either anticipation, or as a future shield from the blood that would be surely split. Linali held her own breath and her jaw dropped at the sight of Allen running full speed towards Kanda in a game of chicken. "This shit's going to hit the fan!"

"I can't look away!" Linali shouted back.

Allen locked eyes with Kanda and the stare was returned. He became nearer and nearer and Allen wasn't sure Kanda would move after all. Kanda's hair flung wildly in the wind and his blue eyes seemed white with some kind of possession.

Closer, just a few more seconds, would he move?

The tires were set on their course and it would take a huge amount of skill to be able to move the bike at this point without crashing something horrible and creating quite the traffic accident. What was he waiting for? Allen wanted to know.

He wasn't going to move, Allen cried in his mind. The bloody bastard was going to kill him!

A split second before the potential crash, Allen found his last bit of energy and dove out of the way and into the center of the lot. he hit the ground and rolled, tumbled, and spun across the gravel. He slid into the center and immediately began backing up as the sound of the engine rolled his way.

Not only would he have killed him, Allen thought angrily, but he was still aiming for him!

Allen kicked the ground harshly and moved backwards, not able to compose himself enough to stand and run again, and hardly enough energy to run once standing. Kanda revved the engine again and again, coming toward Allen slowly, forcing him to crawl backwards as Kanda moved forward and paused, forward and paused.

Allen clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes. He'd had enough of this bastard's games. During the pause he reached behind him and grabbed a handful of gravel and as Kanda revved forward once more, he threw out his hand and flung the gravel in Kanda's eyes.

Kanda dropped the bike in an act of clumsiness and Allen sprang forward, throwing the vampire off the bike and wrestling him to the ground.

"Asshole!" Kanda shouted as Allen punched him in the gut.

"Ah, that's exactly what I was thinking as you tried to ram your motorcycle down my throat." Allen replied with a sense of irony.

"You sick bastard, take that!" Punches and kicks were thrown and given at a rapid and clumsy speed. They rolled and tumbled across the ground, one always gaining only to be shoved back into the dirt once more.

"Enough!" Linali shouted, coming over, Lavi in tow. She reached down and grabbed the nearest something--happening to be Kanda's hair-- and pulled. Kanda backed off the smaller supernatural's form and was forced back by Linali. Lavi shrugged and grabbed Allen's own ponytail, doing likewise and going in the opposite direction. "That's...it! No more training!" she shouted, enraged and disbelieved at the behavior of both. "Kanda, what were you thinking! You could have killed him!" she said, barely restraining herself enough from yanking on his hair. "And you!" she pointed at Allen. "Just...what the _hell?!_"

"What she said." Lavi joined.

Linali took a calming yoga breath and forcefully relaxed her shoulders. "Alright, _you_," she glared at Kanda. "Come with me. And Allen!" Allen cowered slightly under her flaming eyes and harsh breathing. He half expected fire to come out and burn him alive. "Go to your room! Lavi--!"

"Yes, mom?"

"Take him there. _NO_ detours!" She wiped her hair out of her eyes and took another sharp breath. "And _don't call me 'mom'!_"

"Yes..." Lavi stood still and stopped breathing, just as scared as Allen looked. With the lack of response Linali took off with Kanda in her tow, finally releasing him before they reached the Tower but continuously slapping him on the arm and making quite the scene.

"Is she...?"

"_Never_ have I seen _that_." Lavi gasped, the barest hint of a smile taking over his face. he looked down at Allen with an undisguised glee. "Someone's brought trouble."

-----

Kanda got off with twenty more slaps and a severe warning, and he considered himself lucky. he'd never seen Linali so out of control angry at anyone before, much less him--even if he had done a few things that should have warranted it before. She sent him to his own room and told him to take the day off. It seemed in spite of her fury, she hadn't forgotten about Kanda's 'needs'.

"I don't want to see your face until breakfast tomorrow."

"Whatever." he grumbled, willing himself to ignore the desire to rub the abused arm she'd used to drag him up 25 floors.

"Kanda--" she said harshly. He looked back at her before entering his door. She looked at him with a kind of detachment, and a reluctance in admitting the detachment as well. "I..." she began. Kanda held still as she gained her professional footing. "I'll need a report on your...tomorrow." Kanda paused as Linali swallowed hard.

He nodded, and entered his room, the door shutting silently as he was removed from her sight.

-----

Essentially speaking, drinking the blood of a human gave you their awareness. There were those that decided instead to drink on the blood of animals, but doing so would cripple their intelligence. They became animals themselves, living in remote areas, hiding from all with only carnivorous instincts to survive on. They became easts, forsaking their humanity for humanity's sake.

How pitifully ironic.

The others, the superiors, fed on the blood of humans. Again, there are always the merciful. Those who would only drink a bit of blood, allowing the human to live (if a bit on the anemic side) or those who would drink the blood of murderers, rapists and thieves.

There are several problems to take note of.

Those that drank only a bit of blood retained low intelligence and a high hunger capacity. If continued to only drink partial blood, they would go crazy with hunger. Ever shopped while hungry? Imagine a starved and stupid vampire walking into a club, or an amusement park. Adrenaline racing through the veins of their prey, so _close and accessible_. It's a smell to sweet and addicting, like walking talking Belgian waffles, asking you to indulge yourself.

Those vampires are disposed of as soon as they go postal, if not sooner.

The third kindness, to drink the blood of the damned, only meet a similar fate. Gaining the senses of a killer is nothing to laugh at. They become vicious, plotting murders on those wretched beings, cunning and fast and dangerous, they lead the lives of devils. They crave the blood, the red, and they drench themselves with it.

Nothing is done with these atrocities so long as they do not expose the others.

And so, it is plain to see why most of this race retain their selfishness. They drink the blood of one human as necessary (time ranges on every variable, ranging form the strength of the vampire to the vivacity of the human). In doing so, these vampires gain the consciousness of the human being. Twice the sense, twice the strength, twice everything--two bodies become one and ore power is gained.

But what has been the lesson? Everything comes with a price.

-----

Kanda slammed his fists on the table, and large dents were made on the table's wood. He knelt on one knee, head between his hands.

"stupid girl,' he thought. he couldn't think of any other insults. Fear clutched his belly but hew willed it away.

Visions--no, _memories_--clogged his mind. Men lying, eyes rolled into their skulls, smiling at the world around them with false bliss. Awful smells, putrid for a normal person, made him gag and nearly wretch. Cold hard ground to sleep on, trash to feed on, scum to depend on. Butt the strongest memory that came to Kanda were the last shocking moments of her life. The shine of his lade in the moonlight and cold eyes looking down on nothing more than a dog.

Kanda felt the anger and the hatred this woman had felt, but her last moments of fear were the strongest. Why had she wanted to turn down freedom?

Why had she wanted to live?

-----

Allen swallowed a gallon of water before he felt human--oh the irony--again. He laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes began to close as sleep came over, nudging him softly into another world.

Allen began to dream.

-----

They were civil.

Allen would never call them anything else.

They were civil, they were cold.

His parents had been long gone, no one knew quite why--death or an accidental pregnancy, who knew? Of course that arm was awfully strange. Perhaps he's been abused as a child and finally abandoned when the parents went ball-crazy--but that wasn't so important. He had no parents, so he lived there, in the orphanage.

It was a nice orphanage.

Plenty of food, even for growing boys with unsatiable palates like Allen, warm beds, teddy bears and reading time, the orphanage was acclaimed to be of the highest-rated for living and comfort conditions.

But that was exactly it. There was no comfort.

Everyday Allen was handed a plate and a fork. No smile.

Everyday he was put to bed. No lingering glance when they said, 'goodnight'.

Everyday Allen was given a stuffed rabbit and was told a story among a small group of children.

The happy endings always came too soon.

Allen remembered clenching his hands into fists, tangling in his sheets, gritting his teeth and trying to straighten out his forehead of the painful creases. His back would ache from trying so hard and his gums would hurt the next morning for having ground his teeth for too long and too hard. His eyes would open to the gray sky, reflecting what they saw, and what they knew.

They were given daily chores, nothing too strenuous.

The women would come soon, he knew, and he would never be ready. He would mess up today, but what? What would he forget? What should he have taken into consideration?

Would he use the wrong toothbrush? Would he have ironing duty today? If so, how many fingers would he burn?

His mind wracked around so many thoughts and worries.

Will I help with kitchen duty? Do we have enough pepper? Did I forget to by something? I wonder how soon dark will come again....

It wasn't so much, but alone, the duties weighed much heavier. The children didn't know how to react. If they had what they wanted, what they needed, then what else was there?

Love? Thanks? Trust?

They didn't know.

How could they be sure, and so they didn't trust.

They needed all these things, so they weren't thankful.

Love.

Love was conditional.

And the state of conditions in the orphanage didn't run that high.

So every day Allen would lie in bed at night, waiting to sleep, just to prolong that state of awareness, that state of being alone, but only with himself, for just a bit longer. Maybe if he was really by himself, he'd know how lucky he was to have a roof and a teddy bear at night. And when the light came too soon, he would stay in bed just five minutes longer, now five minutes less to know the real reason he was there, why everything was so simple and so hard.

No one cared for a worthless orphan.

So he worked harder during the day, chastised himself worse for messing up and day after day becoming more and more silent, reclusive, emotionally-wrought and tired, so tired of everything that came his way, everything he had to do, everything he _couldn't_ do, couldn't do _right_, until suddenly--

He came.

* * *

A/N: Finally, I finished!

I kind of realized I had to get the next chapter out fast before everyone starts losing their interest. D:

if it's choppy let me know, I'd like to fix it. I've got papers gallore and homework for the first time in a year, but that's never an excuse for my work to be shoddy. Any complaints, relay them to me please!

Allen's scene: This was his time spent in the orphanage as a child. I want to change your definition of tragedy. I know most of you were thinking Allen's childhood would have abusive people, some kind of deep hurt that came with abandonment or something, and while I would never deny those things aren't tragic--they're horrifying--I want you to reach out and acknowledge that sometimes tragedy is different. It's subtle and it's quiet. Tragedy comes in many forms, so really, while Allen's childhood might not be desperately sad, it's a new shade of sadness. He was alone, try and think on it for awhile. REALLY, not in the sense of last person on earth, or 'no one understands/accepts me' alone, but alone. I don't want to say more than that, because it really is something only you can know and figure out on your own. If you understand, then you understand. If not, it's okay.

Thanks for reading, and please, a review! :D


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